Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Get over it: Belle Knox is a porn star, and she doesn't need your permission or approval.

Belle Knox is a pre-law Duke University student. She's also a porn star. She chooses to be both, and it's none of your damn business. You can like it or dislike it, but you can't do a damn thing about it. Instead of drowning herself in huge amounts of student loan debt, Belle chose to earn her way through school, fucking and sucking on camera. Are you offended by that? Too bad. You're not Belle, and it's none of your business. Oh, you're her family? Too bad. She's an adult, and it's still none of your business.

Will she regret it later? Maybe, maybe not. Will she have a 'come to Jesus' moment? Perhaps she will, perhaps she will not. That's for Belle to deal with, and not you. Get it? NOT you. You're not the center of the universe, and you're certainly not the center of Belle's universe. Belle is the center of her universe, and Belle damn sure gets to make decisions that will best benefit Belle. And just as you don't allow Belle to dictate how you live your life, how you choose to pay your bills, and who you fuck, in return you don't get to do those things with her, either.

Except some of you think you do have the right to dictate what Belle does, how she does it, and to whom she does it. In fact, some of you pricks are so upset that you are sending death threats to Belle. Because, you know, if you can't bend Belle to your wishes, you'll threaten and cajole her. She's a woman, after all, and she better damned well know her place!

This is but one example of why so many of my fellow Americans disappoint and anger me. Instead of thinking on a higher level, we cling strongly to a fictional caveman ethic that no longer serves us or our country. You can fight against it all you want, but we are in the 21st century and we are moving forward, not backward into the darker, less educated ages. Using threats only serves to illustrate how fucking afraid you are, and those threats say more about you than it does the target of your threats.

Here's a dose of truth: sex exists. Men and women both want sex. Sexual desire is a normal part of the human experience. People who have sex are no less respectable than those who choose not to have sex. Women have desires, just as men do. Finally, women have just as much right to act upon their desires as men do. Strong, sexual women are not to be feared, but celebrated. Furthermore, like porn, prostitution will always exist. By banning it, you will not make it go away. Instead, regulate the industry and legalize it. Make it safer for the women (and men) who work in the industry.

The one thing I detest most about many of my fellow Americans is how utterly 'respectable' and conservative they pretend to be, when secretly they're probably dressing up, role-playing, and engaging in S & M in their own bedrooms. They attend church on Sundays, but the other six days of the week it's, "To hell with you, I'm getting mine!" Or it's drink, smoke, screw most of the week and cast aspersions on the rest of us come Sunday morning in the pew.

Let's face it: many of us are a bunch of hypocritical shits. What we do in our bedroom is okay, but you'd better not do anything in YOUR bedroom that someone else disapproves of -- that goes beyond a boundary and we'll have none of that, will we? Furthermore, what's good for the gander isn't good for the goose, and we'll tell you so! We dictate the morals and you're expected to follow them. I said you, not me. I can do whatever I want. But you...well, you must behave and stay within the parameters of what I believe is acceptable. That applies most especially to sex, and more pointedly to women having sex. Men get to suck and fuck their way through college with abandon. They're just sowing their wild oats, doing what young men do. But women? You can fuck and suck...but within reason. Otherwise, you're a slut and a whore. Worthless and looked down upon, less of a human being to be sure.

The truth is, many men want women who are sexually free, assertive, and experimental, but all too often it's a Madonna-Whore situation. You'd better be good enough to marry (and not been around the bend too many times, if you get my drift!) if you're worthy of their respect. After all, you must be acceptable enough to take home to dear ole Mom and Dad, right? God knows Mom never got down on her knees for anyone but your dear ole dad, right? Well, maybe she didn't, but that doesn't make her any more valuable or respectable than a woman who did (in my view).

Which brings me to a point: men aren't the only issue here. Women are, too. The moms, sisters, aunts, female name it. There is plenty of slut-shaming to go around from the female contingent. It can be as vicious—or sometimes even more—than the male contingent. I know about this first-hand. Back in high school, I had more male friends than female friends. Most of the time, I could be found hanging out with guys more than girls. What did I get for it? A reputation, that's what. I mean, if I'm with guys most of the time, I must be fucking all of them, right? (I wasn't). The girls were cattier and more vicious than the guys, by the way. But I kept doing it, 'cause fuck them, that's why. I've always had a tendency to do the opposite of what someone else told me if I knew it got their panties in a twist. Watching them squirm is half the fun, right?

I always fancied myself more of a tomboy growing up. Guys were more fun than girls to hang out with. When you went to the pool, you actually had fun instead of lying about on a lounge chair, sunning. That wasn't my thing (I don't tan, I burn). I wanted to be in the water, having fun. Besides, what if I did fuck all of them? So what? I didn't, but if I had it wouldn't change the fact that I'm an intelligent, caring, creative female who has value. Women who fuck have no less value than women who don't fuck (but who probably want to, I might add!).

Back to my example, Belle Knox. Because she chose to work in porn to pay her college costs, she's somehow a disgrace. Let's give her a scarlet letter! I suppose going into soul-crushing debt is more admirable and sensible than having sex on camera or video for pay, right? Some would have us think so. Maybe what we really need to look at, more than the whole sex angle (or in addition to it), is the reason why education costs so much in this country. The motivation for Belle Knox's action doesn't lie in the fact that she merely wants cum on her face; no, it lies in the fact that, in order to attend Duke University, she opted to take cum shots for pay in order to make sure she could obtain the education she desired from the university she chose.

Let's be honest: waiting tables and delivering pizzas doesn't pay enough to cover those costs. So pause for a minute and consider why so many people think she's despicable for making the choice she did. Isn't it more despicable that she was motivated to make that choice because of the broken educational system we have? And make no mistake, it was her choice and she elected to do porn. To me, it's no different than paid interning at a Fortune 500 company. You're secretly perceived by some as a whore for one or the other, right? The only difference is sucking corporate dick and taking it up the ass for the company is more respected (in many circles) than doing it on camera for a porn production, right? Either way, you're taking it for the team. But getting slammed in the ass for Wall Street's benefit is more acceptable -- at least for some people.

Why is it we squeal like little piggies when we are asked to pony up for education, yet many Americans tacitly accept that spending billions for war is a worthy cause -- even though the ongoing war in Iraq war was most likely started by a president who wanted to get revenge for his daddy. Let's face it -- most of the time, war is nothing more than a 'my dick's bigger than yours' contest led by self-important, egoistic men who have something to prove (or, if they don't, they'll make something up). Yes...all of that is much more important than educating our U.S. citizens and ensuring our country stays on par with the rest of the world in science, technology, and a host of other disciplines. All of that is much more pressing than making sure people have a livable wage and women are guaranteed equal pay. We certainly have our priorities straight, don't we? No, no we don't. And some of us are tired of it.

It's the 21st century. Isn't it time we get past the misogyny (both covert and blatant), double-standards, and targeted hatred toward women? I'll answer for you: yes, it's past time. I know it's painful, America, but you need to evolve one way or another; you can either evolve by being forced into evolving, kicking and screaming, into the future by those of us who are ready to get real, or you can voluntarily evolve by spending more time focusing on education, poverty (in our own country, not just others), fighting racism, approving equal pay for women (what? We still don't have that? WTF?!), and dropping the shaming/marginalization/discrimination of gays, for starters.

I have a long list, but those are several to get you started. Oh, and as for immigrants? Yeah. Your ancestors were likely immigrants. The ones who came to America, killed, and took land from Native Americans. Don't think you're better, smarter, or more refined than immigrants, because your ass probably wouldn't be here without your immigrant ancestors. Not familiar with that time in history? Get your ass to a library and read. Yes, reading is still a thing for some of us.

Truth hurts, but in the end, Belle Knox is an adult. She has the right to make her own decisions, and not everyone has to like or agree with them. Her choices should not make her the target of death threats. Neither do her choices make her less worthy or valuable as a woman. Belle and many other women are tired of your shit, and we aren't going to take it anymore. We will do what we want, when we want, and how we want -- just as men always have. Furthermore, we want equal pay on top of it. Gee, I guess we're being total bitches, huh? Oh, wait...if I were a man, I'd be respected for speaking up and standing my ground. As a woman, I'm a whiny-ass bitch who doesn't know her place, just like Belle obviously doesn't know her place.

We have news for you: our place is wherever we choose to be -- whether it's in a corporate boardroom or sucking dick in front of a camera. What's more, it's none of your business and you have nothing to say about it. We neither ask nor require your permission, just like you never asked or required our permission to throw billions of dollars into failed wars at the expense of plunging our country into economic disaster and hanging our citizens out to dry. Which is more immoral, and why? Which offends you more, and why? Only you can answer that question, but are you willing to answer it honestly and examine the truth (and hypocrisy) of your answer? Think about it, if you dare.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

My brother Leo sent me this photo. They picked up Mom's remains yesterday and now they are in this box on a boat with Leo and Wendy, his fiancee. They live on a boat, by the way.

Mom's frogs are around her box of remains, too. I had a moment when I opened up and viewed this pic, though. It's like it hit home just how surreal it is. My mom's remains are physically in a box.

I do know and believe her soul/spirit/essence is gone, of course, and busy with other things right now. But still, I can't yet wrap my head around her being physically gone. I suppose it's a normal reaction. Yet, it gives me pause every single day.

Thanks again to all of you who have shown love, compassion, and care for me and my family since the loss of our mother. Bless you all.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Nocturnal Muse's Vlog for 4.28.2014

Though he won't be updating as frequently as I do, Paul is going to start blogging again over at his Tumblr. He needs followers, so could you please go follow him? Thanks!His Tumblr is at

Saturday, April 26, 2014

One week after her passing: ten things that remind me of my mom

Today marks a week since my mom Shirley passed away after a long battle with Alzheimer's. I've lit the candles on her remembrance altar every day the past seven days. Many thoughts and memories have drifted through my mind. Today I want to list ten things that remind me of my mom and the friendship I had with her. I'm so very grateful she raised me (I was adopted) and gave me an interesting life that included being a military brat and traveling throughout the United States and overseas. In fact, that's how I ended up in Colorado! I love you, Mom! Herewith, the ten-item list:

1. Siamese cats
2. Small dogs (esp. poodles & chihuahuas)
3. Juicy Fruit gum
4. The smell of lipstick (her purse smelled like lipstick and was stocked with Kleenex)
5. Her homemade pizza; in fact, her incredible homemade cooking!
6. Her CB handle in the '70s—Wonder Woman.
7. Red. It was her favorite color!
8. Ice cream. She LOVED it!
9. Long John Silver's. When I visited her in Oklahoma, we usually picked up food from LJS. Mainly because we both loved it and there's no LJS restaurant here in the Springs. Hush puppies—yum!
10. Virginia. The place she was born and, despite all of her travels, the place she always wanted to come back to.

Of course, there are many other things that remind me of my mom, but I wanted to share several of them today. Those of you who knew her will probably recognize some of these things.

Pick & choose!

I have three main blogs. Two are primarily writing-related (the oldest blog was established in 2005). In addition, I also have a personal blog.

For writing, reading, book info, and editing tips, go to or

For personal posts about life, creativity, art, crocheting, knitting, and miscellanea, visit

Read, comment, follow, please ;-) I'd appreciate it! 

Friday, April 25, 2014

Guest Post: Rising from the Ashes (via

My guest post contributor is Bev Sninchak, a veteran freelance writer with 16 years  experience producing content for online and print publications. She writes about many topics related to life and spirituality, as well as covering topics such as 6…

After all these years: reigniting my love affair with yarn, crocheting, and knitting

After 24 years, I decided to start crocheting and knitting again. Why? Because my mother, who just pass last week after a long, cruel battle with Alzheimer's, was my crocheting partner many years ago, before my son was born and after when I was on leave from work while still on maternity leave. Remembering our days together, crocheting and talking, made me feel like I could reconnect with her again in some way, since at the end stages of her disease she couldn't remember many people or things, much less communicate well.

The end of January, I began gathering hooks and yarn. Retraining myself after not working with yarn for over two decades. So far I've completed two scarves -- one for my husband Paul and another for my daughter Britt. I recently started a new scarf. This one's for Jon's girlfriend Cait. She's an Aries, so bright red and black fits her ;-)

e-wrap;">So, along with more personal posts, this will also be a place to post about artistic pursuits, crafting, crocheting, knitting, and (of course) creative writing. I'm toying with changing the name of this blog as well. In fact, I'm sure I will.

For those who also knit or crochet, you can hook up with me (pun intended) on as well. My ID is nocturnalmuse over there.

Welcome to any new readers, and thanks to the already existing readers who are still popping by here to check out my posts every now and then.

A reminder: I do have a new website (well, it's been around since fall of last year, probably). I have several websites, but my main one is at Bookmark it if you haven't already ;-) I update it more frequently than any other site.