Remembering Lyn and wishing we could speak once more

I really miss my friend, mentor, and first HPS*, Lyn Benoit Goodnight.

What I'd really love to do is sit down with her – or, failing that, have an online conversation with her – and get her reaction to what is happening now with the Trump presidency and the daily disruption on so many levels that is occurring.

Pretty sure I'd already know what she would say about all of it. But I'd give anything to spend time with her talking, laughing, and getting her opinion on many events.

Miss you, Lyn. Still cannot believe you're gone :(. She would've graduated this month with her Ph.D. So tragic.

* High Priestess

Life gets in the way

Lyn and Nate had planned to move back to Colorado Springs and were in the process of getting everything set to do so. That's when Lyn died on August 8, 2016.

Both Paul and I want to remember and honor Lyn's memory, but we can't leave town and drive four hours, total, to go to La Veta for only an hour or two this coming Saturday for her memorial. I feel awful about it. We were trying to go, and had actually canceled out on being volunteers for Colorado Springs Comic Con, but life is such that things just aren't going to work out.

I have a full work queue this weekend (which I am GRATEFUL for) and we can't drive the RV all those miles until we get our fuel pump and brakes fixed. People have offered us rides, but we can't do that because they want us to ride down on Friday, spend the night, and stay on Saturday for the memorial, then drive back here. With the dogs, we can't be gone that long. Britt can't have them in her apartment, and she can't leave her dogs and stay in our RV for all that time.

To find an alternative to honor Lyn's memory, I talked with her daughter, Angie, and the plan is to have a small, casual get-together at Britt's apartment sometime over the next week or so where we can all come together, remember Lyn, light candles and incense, and share stories and memories of her. I'm sure Lyn would be happy with that.

No matter what we plan here, all I know is that she will never be forgotten and I am grateful for her influence in my life. She left far too soon, but she will always be remembered fondly.

For those who would like to send condolences to Lyn Goodnight's family

Hi, everyone. I talked to Nate today, who was Lyn's fiance. If any of you would like to send sympathy cards in the wake of Lyn's sudden passing, here is the mailing address (*please note that the name of the town in the graphic is incorrect. The town is spelled 'La Veta.'):

Nathan Juhala
PO Box 943
La Veta, CO 81055

Thank you for all your kind thoughts and wishes for Lyn's family during this time of grief. There is no info on a service at this time, but when and if that is made public, I will post here.

[Deaths] Journey well, my beloved friend. You will be missed.

Our good friend Lyn Goodnight passed away unexpectedly this morning. She had gone to the doctor on Friday because she had severe stomach pains. Her blood pressure got really high and they admitted her to the hospital. Turns out she had a stomach blockage, which caused a rupture. She had internal bleeding and died.

Lyn and Nate were the ones who had us come out to Falcon, CO, and stay for a while in our RV earlier this year. I've known Lyn 15 years...I'm in shock.

Paul and I are still trying to process this news and I am devastated -- especially concerned about her fiance, Nate, and her kids, who are in their 20s, and her granddaughter, who is only 4 years old. 󾌣

Lyn was more than a garden-variety friend to me. She was also my mentor and a lifesaver for me and the kids when my first husband, Gary, passed away unexpectedly in May 2001. Lyn was also my first High Priestess (HPS) and we were both in the same coven many years ago. I'd known her for 15 years.

This just doesn't seem real...I'm so sad. What a loss.

Here is what I posted on her Facebook wall:

"Words cannot properly convey how your passing has affected me and Paul. We are still in shock and disbelief. You have returned to the stars, my friend, and you left many behind who love you and whose lives were enriched by your presence. Thank you for everything you did for me, Paul, and the kids in the time we knew you. Thanks for everything you taught me, both mundane and otherwise, since I met you 15 years ago. Your mentorship and wise council had a large impact on my life. Rest in peace, Lyn/Butterflye."

Three things to be grateful for

Three great things to be thankful for:

Our friend Quinnsettia's 13-year-old daughter, Lilly, was hit by a drunk driver while crossing a street in Pueblo, CO, last night. Driver was drunk, had no license, no insurance. Lilly has broken teeth and road rash, but NO broken bones. She's a lucky young woman. They caught the driver, thank goodness. Please send healing energy and/or thoughts to the family. This tragedy could've been much worse.

Second, Britt & Tack have a new Jeep! It's a 2015 and it's black and a sleek-looking ride. Nice, low payments and (as Tack said) it looks like Darth Vader. So I'm gonna call it Vader from here on. I'll upload a pic on the post after this one (taken tonight, but more coming).

Third, since Britt & Tack now have their vehicle, we get ours back (our nearly new Saturn ION w/only 50K'ish miles on it)! New tires and ready for us to use after not having a working car to use since November 2014. Tomorrow we will take it for a drive SOMEWHERE just to enjoy riding in it again!

MAJOR thanks to a several people for making this happen -- Ron S., who helped with the VIN verification for Britt & Tack, Chandra & Mark for allowing us to use their comfy minivan OR giving us rides when we simply had to have one. Also, to Britt & Tack, who coordinated and made so much of this happen. Without them, it would NOT have happened! Love all of you guys. heart emoticon

Starting the new year with a car once again—woot! First time we've ever been without a car for over a year in our lives, and we do NOT want to go through that again.

Life is hard, but you are NOT alone!

Not asleep yet. So many emotions. Third friend/classmate in three years who's taken his own life. Troubled. I'm so troubled. Full of sadness and frustration.

Life is hard. It's so freaking hard! I know this because the past four years have been HELL for us in this family. There are times when I haven't wanted to get out of bed or even wake up the next day and face another day of b.s. and soul-crushing challenges. But nobody ever promised me that life would be easy, and although it's rough terrain, I have no idea what awaits me over the next mountain pass (so to speak) and I'm not giving up on this journey until I see what the next roadside attraction is.

I don't know what YOUR b.s. and soul-crushing challenges are, but every day IS another day...and all cycles end. Nothing stays the same forever. Some cycles are longer than others. Some cycles feel like an eternity (believe me, I'm in the middle of one of them!) I just know that, although it doesn't seem like it right now, you CAN make it and you CAN get past these things you're dealing with.

Please, please listen to me: I can't do much, but if you are having a hard time and you need to talk to someone -- if you're to the point of NO RETURN -- please get in touch with me or at least talk to someone...please reach out...please don't cross that line of no return. Okay? Please do this for me, friend? Here is a number you should write down and put where you have it at all times. Memorize it or do whatever...just USE it, if need be:

1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week
Languages: English, Spanish
Website: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

Life can be dark, painful, disturbing, and any number of other things. But think of life as a book full of chapters, full of pages, full of plot twists. You are the author. You are writing this book. You can't control everything, but you can control your part and how you react or act upon things.

Look, I can be blunt at times and come off as an a-hole at other times, but deep inside, I'm really not. You matter. You freaking matter, okay? Believe it. Know it. We have more laughs to share here...and if I haven't offended you yet, then you HAVE to stick around, 'cause I'm trying! *smile* Plus I have more dirty jokes to post and crazy stuff to share.

In all seriousness, you're gonna be okay. You got this. Promise. And if you need to lean on others to find your strength again, then take my hand...and someone else's...and someone else's beyond that. It's okay if you feel fragile, weak, worn out. You're human. We all are. And until you can find the strength to support yourself and stand strong again, there are those of us out there who will help you stand.

Reach out...my hand is waiting.