I don't know how to make people care about the things they should care about, and that makes me sad. You can't force people to be decent human beings, and it's a damn shame.

Willful ignorance and/or stupidity doesn't look good on Americans

Based on dealing with the public five days a week, it's clear that most Americans are stupid and/or ignorant (yes, there's a difference). It's obvious how we ended up with clueless Trump in office!

Also: the customers from overseas I've dealt with -- from Europe, in particular -- are more polite and well-spoken than the vast majority of Americans I've encountered.

And people wonder why we need a better education system? It's not hard to see why. Get educated, Americans! Read a damned book every once in a while. Take a class. Learn a new language. Become literate in science.

Intellectualism isn't a bad thing. But being proud of (and even bragging about) your stupidity/ignorance is.

Three feet, 36 inches!

I'm watching "Very British Problems" on Acorn TV and I can relate to some of these situations. I can relate to NOT wanting to talk to people when I'm out in public – like strangers or random people who attempt to start conversations in elevators, waiting rooms, buses, trains, etc. And, invariably, throughout my life, I not only attract people who sit RIGHT next to me but also begin a conversation.

I'm also a beacon for the strangest, quirkiest person in the room. And for some reason, strangers will immediately tell the damndest things! They just start talking and it's like I'm their therapist.

Another way I can relate: handshakes, hugs, kisses on the cheek ALL make me uncomfortable, especially if I don't know you at all or well. I always default to a firm handshake, and will hug back if it's initiated (still awkward), and HIGHLY dislike people who go in for a kiss (like the French, I suppose). Strangers who exhibit unwanted familiarity and/or closeness make me want to GET AWAY as soon as possible.

Also, don't touch the top of my head, even if you're joking. I cannot STAND that. I'm short, so patting me on the head is a no-no. When I was pregnant, people would touch or pat my baby bump without asking and that got on my nerves. Especially where men were concerned. Drunk ones in particular!

In the episode I watched, they discussed how some Brits often use their phones to pretend they have a call and can't talk, even if there's no call. I'VE DONE THAT BEFORE! Unfortunately, while I was pretending to be on a call, the phone rang, and I was busted. I pretended the call had dropped without me knowing, and the person had called back. I SUCK at lying, so I'm sure my facial expression gave it away.

One more they discussed in the show: pretending that you heard someone even though you didn't hear what they said in the first place. I do this as well by saying, "Uh-huh" or "Oh, really?", shaking my head, or laughing.

Also, when people stare at me it gives me the creeps. Last night at IHOP there was a guy (obviously homeless and with severe mental issues) who was missing most of his nose. His face was disfigured. That's not a problem because bad things happen to people and you can't judge a person solely from the outside. He was in a booth, sitting and talking to not only himself, but to an imaginary person next to him. I happened to sit at our table right in eyeshot of the guy. Usually, I try to avoid facing people, but this time it didn't occur to me that he would STARE at me from across the room, all night until it gave me chills. I had to walk right past him when heading to the bathroom, so that was unnerving. I've been known to wear sunglasses not because of the sun, but because people wouldn't be able to see my eyes easily or stare into them.

Now, I know these situations are NOT exclusive to Britain. However, when I visited the UK, I noticed situations where the British were SO polite and understated, whereas here in America those situations would NOT have been handled the same way. For example, a drunk stumbled into a Pizza Hut in London, disrupting the restaurant, and the entire thing was handled with so much class and dignity that I was amazed.

What goes around comes around – sometimes with unfortunate results

Yes, this is long. I hope you'll still indulge me by reading it. I've got to get this out in the open.

That moment when the awful someone gave out for decades slingshots back to them in a harsh and shocking way, and you're not sure how you feel about it. All I feel is sick to my stomach over the entire thing. Why couldn't they have been a better person? Why couldn't they have not manipulated and hurt people? Why couldn't they have not engaged in criminal behavior and cost someone else's life?

In case you've ever wondered why I focus on forensic psychology, and particularly those with ASPD - Antisocial Personality Disorder (sociopathy/psychopathy), it has a lot to do with the person I'm alluding to. I was targeted by this person. I was naive and the perfect victim, in fact. However, due to what I experienced, I am no longer a victim and don't plan on being one ever again (if I have anything to do with it).

I even jokingly told other friends that if anybody ever found me dead, to focus on that person first. Yep, that's how intense this person's obsession/targeting was. It was creepy, unsettling, scary. Even after I cut all ties, this person kept trying to interact with me and threatened/verbally abused me because I wouldn't give in. I deleted/blocked/ignored, but they still found a way to try and insert themselves into my life again.

As much as I'm friendly to people and have friends I care about, I no longer let people get too close to me for a reason. You'll only see so much of what's inside. Sadly, I never fully trust anybody. I always look for ulterior motives – or wonder what people's motives truly are – because of my past experience with the person I'm referring to and because I worked in a police department where I saw the worst side of humanity. Don't be fooled by appearances or the masks people wear.

Let's face it: every person on this earth has some sort of an agenda, however minimal. And yes, I realize how bad that sounds, but once you've been targeted by a person with nefarious intentions, complete trust is a difficult gift to give to anybody.

So, my nerves have been on edge today – and for good reason – but I don't want to be more specific about the situation than I have been here. The dogs have been restless as well, so I have no doubt they've picked up on my nervous energy/anxiety. I'm currently processing a lot of thoughts/feelings.

I knew everything would eventually catch up with the person, but I'm not happy with the results. Instead, I'm sick to my stomach. Even after everything that's happened, I feel sorry for this person. But even more so, I feel more sympathy for their victim(s), one of whom is no longer alive because of this person's actions/involvement.

I'm not great at keeping things inside. Needed to get some of it out. I'll likely write a blog post about the entire tale in the future, but not right now. Not ready yet.

Really hate mindf*ck situations. Don't you?

Oh, the drama!

Ever notice how, when you mind your own business, other people—and sometimes even strangers—can't stand the calm and feel compelled to start drama? I'll never understand it. It's like some people cannot bear to have a calm atmosphere, so they take great pleasure in stirring up shit just to get a reaction or to annoy others.

Example: late last night, Paul and I left Britt's apartment and headed over to where we are currently parking our RV while we are in town. It was late, and I was tired. All I wanted to do was go to bed. We crawled into bed, talked for a bit, and settled in (with our dogs) to go to sleep. Next thing we know, there's a woman outside our RV yelling. I couldn't make out what she was saying. Turns out, she was griping and intentionally antagonizing our dogs—AT 5 IN THE MORNING! She returned to her RV, which was parked to the left of ours and across the way, but then a little while later, she came back over to where we were and began yelling again. This time, she started yelling, "RUFF, RUFF, RUFF!" to get the dogs stirred up.

My first reaction: WTF?! Was she drunk? High? What the hell was her problem at FIVE in the morning that she would intentionally try to antagonize our dogs?!

Paul and I prefer to dodge conflict if we can, so we didn't engage her and got the dogs back into the back of the RV, into our bedroom. They'd gone up front to react to the stupid shit she was yelling and the RUFF RUFF sounds she was making. Finally, we fell asleep. I still felt uncomfortable because I had a feeling she wasn't done with us yet. I was right.

In the morning, around 11:45 a.m., Paul and I are sleeping—as were the dogs—and guess what happened? Yep, you probably figured out that she walked over by our RV and started raising hell again, talking loudly and intentionally trying to stir things up again. *sigh* What in the hell did this woman want, and what was her motivation for disturbing us and antagonizing our dogs?! I must admit, I was trying to figure out what her motive was, but then I became annoyed...and later on, angry.

Basically, Paul and I want to be left alone to do our thing, which is primarily our jobs, studying, gaming, reading, or watching movies/shows. We are pretty simple people and we like our peace. Now here we had a complete stranger who decided that, for whatever reason, we were going to be her target. Just great.

You know, I just don't understand most people. I haven't for most of my life, though I've tried my level best to figure them out. But often, I feel like I'm an alien from another planet and that most of society is speaking another language or something. Might be why I'm so interested in psychology and why I've thrown myself into my Social and Forensic Psychology studies. Human beings are like exotic animals to me at times, even though I KNOW that I am a human being myself.

Long story short, I told Britt about what was going on and she said, "I'll be right over." My first thought was, "Oh, shit." Mainly because Britt is a lot like me when she gets riled up. Once she's there, she doesn't take anybody's shit. A few minutes later, Britt and her fiance, Tack, arrived. They went over and talked to the woman's boyfriend (who was embarrassed about the whole ordeal) and to the woman herself. Turns out the woman and her boyfriend were having serious issues, and he'd already thrown her stuff out of the RV and was going to break up with her and leave her after 6 1/2 years.

The woman, whose name is Lisa, shook my hand and told me she owed us an apology, that she'd projected her anger over her personal situation onto us. I felt compassion for her and told her that Paul and I didn't like to have conflict with people unless we had no other choice. We chatted for a few more minutes and left to walk back over to our RV. On the way back, her boyfriend indicated that he was sorry for the drama she had caused us. And I'm glad it was resolved—permanently, I hope—but as I sit here, I wonder how things will turn out for them. I saw the expression on her face and on his face. My heart dropped to my stomach because I knew it was a trying time for both of them, exacerbated by her acting out toward us and the dogs due to misplaced anger.

I've mentioned this before, but one unexpected side effect of living full-time in an RV is that you are THIS MUCH CLOSER to humanity and you're face-to-face with the real nature of human beings and society in general. It's unpleasant, it's often shocking, and it's a wake-up call. When you're in a house or apartment, you might get exposed to these things for a short time as you run errands and the like. But when you live in an RV and your home is wherever you park it, you SEE the pain, the trials of life, the layers of hurt, the disappointment. You also hear the tales of hard times and heartbreak. And you can attempt to steel yourself against all of this as much as you want, but in the end, you can't help but be affected in some way.

I would've never had some of these experiences otherwise, and it's added a dimension to my compassion, my mercy, my tolerance. I'm realizing that we're all just trying to make it on a daily basis, and for some people, it's damned hard to wake up and face another day. I've been there before, and I understand how they feel. And no matter how good my fortune gets in the future, I will never forget the things I've seen and heard so far, or the lessons I've learned. With everything in me, I truly hope Lisa and her boyfriend reconcile and they have a better life together than they could've ever imagined. No more pain, no more suffering.

Drama is so uncomfortable to me and is becoming more so as I become older. There are times when you cannot avoid conflict and you DO have to speak your mind, stand up for your rights, and set or reinforce boundaries. But I guess it's all about choosing your battles, and some are so trivial and basic that communication can usually resolve the problem. My first reaction was to leave and not even address the issue with Lisa because confronting or talking with strangers can lead to hair-trigger reactions in this day and age. You never know when someone will pull a weapon or do something off the charts in a fit of overreaction. But to my daughter's credit, as well as Tack's, they took the bull by the horns and addressed the issue in a direct, non-threatening manner.

Today I was the student and my 24-year-old daughter was my teacher. How cool is that?

Totally psyched? Yes!

++Totally Psyched++ is a Facebook page devoted to all things psychology. This community was created by and is maintained by me, Bev R. Sninchak.

Instead of unleashing a deluge of psychology-related info, articles, and posts on my personal FB page while I'm pursuing further education in psychology (particularly forensic psychology), I figured this would be a better solution.

Since I can't always read articles when I come across them, especially when I'm in the middle of work, this will act as a repository so I can come back later and pull up what I wasn't able to read at the time I located the info.

In addition, I know a lot of you are as fascinated by psychology and other social sciences as I am. So why not delve into the subject matter together and discuss it?

Please join me (and 60 others, so far) at Totally Psyched. I hope you find interesting information there, if only for your personal edification. Post any content there that you run across, too. Just make sure it's relevant to the overall topic(s).

Hope to see you over there,

Bev

[RV experiences] A cry for help in the middle of the night

Oh my gosh, I need to post about this before I forget! This morning, close to 4 a.m., I was finally ready to drift off to sleep. All of a sudden, a man starts yelling, "HELP!" in a frantic, desperate voice. You could tell he was running toward where we were parked in the RV. Paul looked out the window and grabbed his phone to call 911 if it came to that.

Surprisingly, five people appeared out of nowhere to help—at 4 a.m.!—and Paul saw another guy laid out on the concrete on a traffic island near Fountain Blvd. Since five people were already attempting to help, we stayed in the RV.

A little while later, the second guy was sitting up. We saw flashing lights, so an emergency vehicle had arrived. We don't know what happened, but I know that I have never heard a man yell that loudly or frantically. Took me quite a while to get back to sleep. I hope everyone involved is okay and all is well.

One thing about living in an RV is that you are closer and more involved with humanity and its wounds and ills when you're in the city than you would be living in your house or apartment. It's both startling and humbling. Definitely food for thought.

If it makes you happy, do it!

If you like Pokemon Go, play it.

If you don't like Pokemon Go, don't play it.

I'm sure some of you enjoy hobbies other people don't enjoy.
Leave people alone and allow them to do what makes them happy. In a world that seems to grow madder (as in insane) by the minute, people need to have pastimes to take their minds off of other stressors.

Football might make you happy, but others may find it stupid and a waste of time. And you can insert countless other hobbies/pastimes as well.

Don't like reading about Pokemon Go? Do what I do when I see people posting about subjects I don't care about—scroll on by or ignore the posts. It's that simple, folks.

Allow people some joy and recreation in their lives, even if YOU don't like or approve of it.

Paul & I stand with our LGBT friends against homophobia

I'm hearing a lot about people threatening to pull a gun if they come across a trans woman in the bathroom. First, that makes them look like a raging coward. Second, Paul and I have trans friends AND gay friends. One of my brothers is gay, in fact. And if you say anything about my brother OR any of my gay friends, you better check yourself.

Also, if I see anybody harassing a trans man or woman, I will step up and be an ally. I will NOT allow such behavior to pass without a challenge. How dare some of you be so callous and uneducated about this issue!

Why don't you put your energies into eradicating pedophile priests from the Catholic church? Or is it God's will? Bullshit. That's a cop-out. Always has been. What a sick excuse for disgusting and criminal behavior.

Paul and I value our LGBT friends. They are some of the best friends we have. We will be allies for them against haters and homophobes.

Some people sit their asses in church on Sundays, acting like they are pious and shit. They are anything but. They are posers, hypocrites, and cold-hearted people. They use religion as an excuse to be shitty people. Christian, my ass!

I'm a staunch anti-theist and I'm more Christlike in my behavior than they are! They're fronting, and deep down they know it. I'd like to see Jesus show up and whip out a rochambeau on their asses for their hypocrisy.

Life is hard, but you are NOT alone!

Not asleep yet. So many emotions. Third friend/classmate in three years who's taken his own life. Troubled. I'm so troubled. Full of sadness and frustration.

Life is hard. It's so freaking hard! I know this because the past four years have been HELL for us in this family. There are times when I haven't wanted to get out of bed or even wake up the next day and face another day of b.s. and soul-crushing challenges. But nobody ever promised me that life would be easy, and although it's rough terrain, I have no idea what awaits me over the next mountain pass (so to speak) and I'm not giving up on this journey until I see what the next roadside attraction is.

I don't know what YOUR b.s. and soul-crushing challenges are, but every day IS another day...and all cycles end. Nothing stays the same forever. Some cycles are longer than others. Some cycles feel like an eternity (believe me, I'm in the middle of one of them!) I just know that, although it doesn't seem like it right now, you CAN make it and you CAN get past these things you're dealing with.

Please, please listen to me: I can't do much, but if you are having a hard time and you need to talk to someone -- if you're to the point of NO RETURN -- please get in touch with me or at least talk to someone...please reach out...please don't cross that line of no return. Okay? Please do this for me, friend? Here is a number you should write down and put where you have it at all times. Memorize it or do whatever...just USE it, if need be:

1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week
Languages: English, Spanish
Website: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

Life can be dark, painful, disturbing, and any number of other things. But think of life as a book full of chapters, full of pages, full of plot twists. You are the author. You are writing this book. You can't control everything, but you can control your part and how you react or act upon things.

Look, I can be blunt at times and come off as an a-hole at other times, but deep inside, I'm really not. You matter. You freaking matter, okay? Believe it. Know it. We have more laughs to share here...and if I haven't offended you yet, then you HAVE to stick around, 'cause I'm trying! *smile* Plus I have more dirty jokes to post and crazy stuff to share.

In all seriousness, you're gonna be okay. You got this. Promise. And if you need to lean on others to find your strength again, then take my hand...and someone else's...and someone else's beyond that. It's okay if you feel fragile, weak, worn out. You're human. We all are. And until you can find the strength to support yourself and stand strong again, there are those of us out there who will help you stand.

Reach out...my hand is waiting.

Do good for good's sake, whenever possible

Never understood why I end up talking to strangers about their problems under the weirdest circumstances. A depressed and nearly suicidal college guy was playing in WoW and was obviously in need of help.

Everyone ignored him and he said, "Well, I guess I should quit college and hang myself." Yes, he could've been joking...but a longtime friend and classmate of mine, Harold Hitt, committed suicide in August 2012 and it's haunted me ever since. I should've picked up the phone and called to see how he was doing. I should've done something...even if it didn't stop him in the long run and he killed himself anyway.

Another friend, Terry, committed suicide a couple years ago. I only knew him through Livejournal, but I'd been online friends with him for years.

Both of those events still haunt me. So when I watched this situation unfold in World of Warcraft, I couldn't just be silent and ignore him. So I talked to him for about a half-hour. Found out he was drunk and depressed, feeling like his real-life friends had abandoned him and were ignoring him.

Anyway, those are the basics -- but I talked to him, then another person joined in the conversation as well. The end result was that the depressed college fellow said he was feeling better, and that what we told him made sense, and that he was going to log off and seek out his friends and do something that made him feel better.

I'm not sure what will or won't happen. I can only be sure that I tried to help in some way -- as did the other person. Before he left, he told both of us that we seemed 'legit' and like decent people, and he thanked us.

I hope he has a better day tomorrow, and all days after that. I never want to hear about a person I know (or become acquainted with) committing suicide or being ignored when they're depressed.

I suffer from major depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Without my family and friends, I may not have been here to this day. But I am. And as long as I'm here, if I can do a good deed that helps someone else -- even if they don't know me -- that's what matters.

Do good for good's sake, whenever possible. It may save someone's life.

How some women give the rest of us a bad name

Thoughts after reading comments on a FB page geared toward women (and why I'll unlike that page):

I'm a woman, and I gotta say that way too many women are catty, two-faced bitches that will stab you in the back at a moment's notice. They're too cowardly to stab you in the front -- it's always the back when you least expect it.

Not talking about you guys, of course. If you were like that, you'd be off this page as soon as I recognized that behavior. Who needs that kind of shit in life? Not me. I have enough to contend with.

The behavior exhibited by many women is the reason I prefer to hang around males and other women who are more like me. For many women, it's not about supporting other women or encouraging them. It's about superficiality, competition, and jealousy/envy. Quite the shame. It doesn't cost a damn thing to be HAPPY for someone else's success or good fortune. There's no shortage of those things, and I believe the more you're happy for other people, the better things you attract in your own life. It doesn't take away from you to congratulate others or be inspired by them.

You are YOU and there's nobody else like you. The only person you should compete with to improve is YOURSELF. Who gives a shit what the other person's hair looks like, where they got their nails done, how many shoes they have, what their cologne smells like? I sure as hell don't! I'm me and I'll dress as I like, fix my hair like I want, wear my nails as I see fit, and choose the cologne I want to wear. You do your thing, I'll do mine. I'm an individual and NOT any of you, and I'm happy about that.

I got a whole bunch of flack in high school because I had plenty of guy friends. Inevitably, other females thought I was screwing all of them, not realizing that I wasn't and that it is possible to be platonic friends/buddies with males. I've done it my entire life. I preferred to hike in the woods or Garden of the Gods with my male buddies than sit by a pool tanning any old day. Besides, I have fair skin, so it's a cycle of burn and peel with me, not tan ;-).

When I see such petty behavior on pages geared toward women, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. It makes me not want to participate in that page. I don't expect those types of women to change, and that's sad and frustrating for the rest of us who are female.

Marking time, or living life?

Thoughts for the day:

No guts, no glory. But really, who cares about the glory? I don't. Having the guts and inner fortitude to do, say, act upon something reinforces that I've accomplished something. Taking a step, speaking a word, or following a path that many others were too fearful to tread upon is what matters most to me. Being authentic and genuine is the best gift I can give to others, as well as to myself.

We all have stories to tell about things that have happened in our past, things that have cemented who we are and why we say or do things the way we do. There is no competition with anyone else, because there is nobody else like you -- period.

Will you speak your mind, or remain silent?

Will you explore, or remain satisfied by what others tell you?

Will you ask challenging questions, or will you remain cozy in the downy comfort of stories (and lies) you have been told?

Will you grow a metaphorical spine, or will you remain spineless?

Will you put your thoughts out there (even if they shock or repel), or will you stay silent, muted, and loyal to the status quo?

The choices are up to you. You came into this world alone, and you will leave alone. What you do in between is, ultimately, in your hands.

It is a harsh truth, and one I'm still learning. But at some point you must leave the shadows and gaze at the bright, piercing sun -- even if it hurts your eyes, or your soul.

What will you do, or what will you not do?

Are you living life, or simply marking time?

I don't want to just mark time...I want to live life on my own terms.

Living as you're intended

The other night we watched clips of the popular '70s (and beyond) dance show, "Soul Train," with Don Cornelius. I miss those days when things seemed more innocent and simpler. Of course, I was a young child, so it wasn't truly the case. It's just that the world hadn't yet had a chance to fully get its claws in me and I hadn't seen the many horrors I've now been exposed to in my fifty years of life.

I miss the times when all I had to worry about was finishing a report for school or whether a cute boy I liked would like me back so we could "go" together. You know, life could be uncomplicated, but we humans utterly insist on making it such.

I think it's possible to live without pain, drama, and crisis in our lives. When we live with those things, we get sick...mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I don't want to be sick. I want to be well. I want to live as I was intended to live, with joy, hope, and creativity.

Do you?

[Vlog] Film, books, pipes, Northern European ancestry, and the ignorance of racism

No room for racism; we are all connected

Wonder if racists ever realize how ignorant and uneducated they sound? Whenever I read a racist comment on an article (usually one about President Obama!), I automatically think, "Wow, that person has issues...and they're stupid to boot." The race you should be concerned about is the HUMAN race. We are all connected. It's easy to see this if you find out about your ancestral DNA. Once you realize how connected you are through your DNA to other parts of the world, you realize that there is no 'them or us.' It's all WE.

Here's an example:

According to my DNA, the oldest female in my maternal haplogroup can be traced back to the Middle East, particularly in the Fertile Crescent.

The site states, "The haplogroup continues to have a strong presence in the region today, comprising about 10-20% of the populations of Iraq, Iran, Syria and Palestine, and 25% of the population of the Arabian peninsula."

Haplogroup: J1, a subgroup of J
Age: more than 38,000 years
Region: Europe, Near East
Example Populations: British, Scandinavians
The Vikings carried J1 from Britain to Norway and Iceland.
Highlight: J1 spread from the Middle East all the way to Iceland."

* Source: 23andme.com 

As I've said before, we are all connected. Yes, I'm American. But if not for my ancestors in other parts of the world, I wouldn't EXIST today. Think about the human connections. I'm over 98% Northern European (Scotland, Wales, Ireland, Norway/Scandinavia). But J1 made it out of the Middle East THOUSANDS of years ago and then spread to other parts of the world.

So when you speak of 'those people' in Africa, the Middle East, Asia, or anywhere else, you should first think about the origins of the human race and how we all came to be. Again, your concern should be with the HUMAN race. We are all in this together. If we don't start acting like it, there will BE no more human race.

One more thing: TRAVEL. If you've never been overseas or to another country, DO IT. I find people who've never been outside the U.S. are sometimes the most xenophobic and ignorant of all.

Anti-semitism is also ridiculous. I've never understood hatred of the Jews. My literary agent of ten years, Meredith Bernstein of the Meredith Bernstein Agency in NYC, is Jewish. She's also brilliant and has always been kind to me. My son was often mistaken for being Jewish when he lived in NYC because his name is Jonathan, which is apparently a popular male Jewish name. He dated several Jewish girls, too. I don't get the whole anti-semitic thing. Never have, never will. To me, when people make anti-semitic comments online, it always ends up sounding like jealousy. To be honest, there have been times when I wish I were Jewish.

My tolerance for racists or anti-semites is about as low as for pedophiles, rapists, and murderers -- ZERO. If you want to get the cold shoulder from me or be outright ignored, say something racist or anti-semitic. Chances are, I'll unleash verbal napalm on you first, though.

Folks, it's the 21st century. Time to grow up! There's NO place for such attitudes in our society. They only serve to divide us into them vs. us. Then it makes things much easier to do awful things to those 'other' people who look different from us or live in a different country. After all, then you don't see them as people like you or me; instead, they're objects or things and not people with families, lives, history, etc. That's not only sad, it's senseless as well. Time to evolve!

If you don't "get" me, this post is for you

To those of you who don't "get me" or are frustrated at trying to connect with me. Please read and, perhaps, you'll understand. Or not. At any rate, this is how things are with me, and you can accept them or not. You cannot change the person I am or erase the issues I've had all my life. I'm pasting a conversation I had with sister Aspergirl friend, Thorne. In hindsight, I think it was meant for a blog post.

First and foremost, I am an Aspie female. I did not have a clue until last year. **And this is where I pick up from Thorne's conversation**: "After going through life and wondering what was wrong with me, and learning how to 'act' in order to get along with others (the best I can) and cope with my surroundings, it was a relief to find out there was an explanation for it. Now I just wish that some people I know would take the time to understand why I am the way that I am and not ask me to change for them.

My biggest pet peeve is when someone who is not me and who has NOT lived my life tries to tell me I'm THIS but NOT that -- and they try to act like they know who I am inside. I think I know myself better than anyone else, quite frankly, and I am most assuredly a female Aspie. I'm also very smart and I have learned to shift my behavior and I've had to learn to cope by mimicking others or learning how to respond (there are still situations where I mess it up) throughout my life. I know (Thorne) you've had the SAME problems with such things. It's very annoying! Pretty arrogant for someone else to act like THEY know you better than yourself, isn't it? Grrrr! I think I've lived in this body and with this mind for 48 1/2 years and have had a lot of experiences that they don't know about, so they can either accept that this IS me or they can pound sand. They don't get to tell ME who I am, know what I mean? I'm just thinking of the stuff you and I have discussed privately. People can be soo annoying over stuff like this. I'm glad Nan posted it and shared with me!

Like you said, this will definitely come in handy; it would be even handier if you could have a sheet that you carried around and handed out to people when they "just don't get you." You could say, "Here, read this!" They probably wouldn't, because most of them don't care enough to bother. But still, it's tempting."

I always find it interesting that people who would push, scream and cry against you trying to change them or tell them who they are seem all too eager to change YOU or tell YOU who you are or are not. What arrogance! I know who I am, I know all kinds of shit I've been through (that YOU know nothing about) and I think I'm more of an expert on ME than you are by far.

I love when I tell people I have PTSD and they try to tell me I couldn't possibly have it (like my oldest brother did). Hey, why not talk the psychiatrist who diagnosed me (along with several other issues)-- how about that? Who the hell is ANYONE to tell ME they are a bigger expert on me than I am MYSELF?! I wouldn't EVER dare do that to someone else. It's not my place, and it's not anyone else's place to do that to me.

So, the bottom line is that I'm who I am am for a reason, and if I do not fit into your tidy world view or you don't know how to "deal" or "connect" with me, that's your issue and not mine. If I cannot "deal" with someone or cannot "connect" with them (and I can be nice and congenial to most people, but I rarely feel a true and deep connection with them -- just being honest), I simply decide to keep walking my path and if we find a way to relate, that's great. If we don't, I'm not interested in forcing it into being something it's not.

I will say this -- if you have publicly insulted or embarrassed me in the past, there is very little chance I will allow you an opening to do that again. Rude, tactless behavior directed at shaming someone in front of others by drawing attention to their physical appearance is NOT a cool thing to do, and if you truly had compassion, you wouldn't think of doing that to a so-called friend.

Okay, a long post, but I needed to get it out of my system. If I've offended anyone, that's your issue. You're welcome to stay, but invited to leave if you do not understand that this is my virtual home and sanctuary and I post whatever I want on my blog without any permission needed. This place is primarily for MY expression and thoughts. You have your own place for YOUR expression and thoughts.

Also, a warning: if you are combative or mean in the comments, you will be removed and blocked. I don't think anyone will be, but just in case. :-) This is a statement I needed to make in a firm, yet authentic, way. It is NOT a post that's up for debate or examination. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming. ;-)