Again, I had the same dream but in a different setting. I've lost count how many times I've had this dream over the past six months.
I am at a place -- sometimes a campus, an amusement park, a high school, a sprawling housing complex, a fairground with rides, a city or town. I end up getting lost and wandering around for hours.
Although I ask for help, either I get vague or wrong directions, or no response at all. I try all different routes to get to where I need to go, but I end up somewhere else, and even more confused.
It's a frustrating, depressing dream that never seems to end. In the dream, everyone else is oblivious or they are nonchalant.
I'm well aware how this dream mirrors the challenges that have come up over the past few years. I get the symbolism and the layers of meaning. One day soon I'll find my way and I won't be lost in my dreams anymore--or in real life.
It's up to me to figure it out, as it has been most of my life. Except I'm weary and tired. I need a break, but as they say, people in hell want ice water, too. I'm not sure why I haven't given up, like many people would have.
My psychiatrist was amazed I am not a substance abuser or alcoholic, based on my life history. It goes against my nature, I guess. If I give up, I surrender and I'm beaten. I'm not that type of person, though.
Once I get knocked against the ropes, it takes time for me to recover, but once I do I'll come out swinging again. I'm tenacious, if nothing else. Stupidly so, perhaps. This recurring dream reflects that.
Being human is about being real. I'm being real with you, even if it's uncomfortable.
Showing posts with label dual depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dual depression. Show all posts
Saturday, July 19, 2014
Saturday, May 31, 2014
Why yes, I do use marijuana for medical purposes. What of it?
To my dear friends: it's okay to tell people I use marijuana and that it helps with my medical issues. I'm not afraid to admit it and it's okay if you tell others should they ask for examples of people who use marijuana to assist with their issues.
In a nutshell, in summer of 2006 I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), PTSD, Dysthymia (dysthymic disorder), and dual depression. I went in for a study on depression and, after running through all the prelims, I was told my problems were too complex for the study. I had no idea. It was an eye-opener for sure!
According to mentalhelp.net, "'Dual' or 'Double' depression is a term used to describe the condition of a person with Dysthymia who also develops a more severe and persistent Major Depressive Episode at the same time. As mentioned previously, dysthymia is a less severe type of depression that involves long-term, chronic symptoms that do not disable, but which do make it difficult to function or feel good. People diagnosed with double depression require aggressive depression treatment not only during the acute Major Depression phase, but also during the chronic low-grade Dysthymia phase that follows in order to try to prevent future occurrences of Major Depressive Episodes. Studies suggest that individuals with double depression often respond well to antidepressants for their Major Depressive Episodes, but that their low-grade dysthymic symptoms may not abate completely. In other words, if you suffer from double depression, medication may relieve your most severe depressive symptoms, but you may not experience periods of feeling completely well."
So yes, I do smoke weed when I have anxiety attacks or feel like I'm about to have a meltdown. Now, I can tell you that I'm proud of myself for accomplishing what I do, given the fact that I've had days when getting out of bed was a major feat. I wouldn't wish all of this on anybody, BUT if you suffer from any of these conditions, take heart that you CAN still function, even though it's difficult at times.
Don't be too hard on yourself (still working on that myself!) and remind people that you DO have these conditions, so people who aren't struggling with them can learn about them and offer you support and assistance. You are capable, strong, and resilient!
Feel free to message me at any time if you need a boost, okay? I've been there and done that. Still fighting it...but winning (or so I believe)! Blessings & love.
In a nutshell, in summer of 2006 I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), PTSD, Dysthymia (dysthymic disorder), and dual depression. I went in for a study on depression and, after running through all the prelims, I was told my problems were too complex for the study. I had no idea. It was an eye-opener for sure!
According to mentalhelp.net, "'Dual' or 'Double' depression is a term used to describe the condition of a person with Dysthymia who also develops a more severe and persistent Major Depressive Episode at the same time. As mentioned previously, dysthymia is a less severe type of depression that involves long-term, chronic symptoms that do not disable, but which do make it difficult to function or feel good. People diagnosed with double depression require aggressive depression treatment not only during the acute Major Depression phase, but also during the chronic low-grade Dysthymia phase that follows in order to try to prevent future occurrences of Major Depressive Episodes. Studies suggest that individuals with double depression often respond well to antidepressants for their Major Depressive Episodes, but that their low-grade dysthymic symptoms may not abate completely. In other words, if you suffer from double depression, medication may relieve your most severe depressive symptoms, but you may not experience periods of feeling completely well."
So yes, I do smoke weed when I have anxiety attacks or feel like I'm about to have a meltdown. Now, I can tell you that I'm proud of myself for accomplishing what I do, given the fact that I've had days when getting out of bed was a major feat. I wouldn't wish all of this on anybody, BUT if you suffer from any of these conditions, take heart that you CAN still function, even though it's difficult at times.
Don't be too hard on yourself (still working on that myself!) and remind people that you DO have these conditions, so people who aren't struggling with them can learn about them and offer you support and assistance. You are capable, strong, and resilient!
Feel free to message me at any time if you need a boost, okay? I've been there and done that. Still fighting it...but winning (or so I believe)! Blessings & love.
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