Monday, December 19, 2016

[Dream] Kate & Dean Rickershaw

While I'm at it, my propensity to dream names, addresses, and the like still occurs. The night before last I dreamed about the names 'Kate and Dean Rickershaw.' I do not know anybody by those names, but I saw those words written out in my dream.

Once again, I have NO idea why I see names, addresses, and random words written out in my dreams. However, I've made it a point to try and tell Paul about it when it happens and to write it down somewhere should I have to refer to it later.

Dutch/Rotterdam connection?

Many months ago, I had a dream where such a ship appeared and I was on that ship, watching as it was sailing near a big city. I blogged/journaled about it and may have posted about it here as well. Now I'm glad I did write about it because the other night I had the STRANGEST experience where I had a FLASH memory of me in a past life (at least that's how I understood it).

Out of the blue, I saw myself wearing a medium blue linen dress, along with a blue hat that had a strip of white around the edge. The hat had triangles folded up on each side. I 'saw' myself dressed like this and knew I'd seen that type of hat before, but couldn't immediately place where I'd seen it because I was almost ready to fall asleep myself and in a hypnogogic state. Which, of course, is when fantasies, hallucinations, and all sorts of mind-altering stuff can occur.

After Googling images, I found the hat I saw in the sudden flash in my mind -- turns out I was in traditional Dutch dress, and the hat was a traditional Dutch hat (!!). I knew I'd seen it before, but it didn't connect at the time what kind of hat it was or who would wear it. Color me shocked! I also found images of people wearing the SAME clothes I 'saw' myself wearing in that flash memory.

Then I remembered that this past year I'd dreamed about the ship with 'Rotterdam' written across the side of it. That past dream was suddenly triggered. I Googled images and found a ship with 'Rotterdam' on the side of it. BINGO! There it was. It was all too weird.

In addition, I then remembered that I'd signed up to take a course on Dutch. I signed up for no apparent reason; it just seemed interesting. With everything else going on at the time, I'd abandoned the course because my load was too full and I'd decided to take it on a whim with thoughts of completing it later.

The other night it all came to me. I tried to tell Paul, but he was half-asleep and as I was telling him, he fell off into slumberland. So I texted Britt about the entire thing so I could remember it later to post here and on my blogs. I didn't want to forget everything, and once I fall asleep, I'm apt to forget things when they're pushed out of my head by new dreams and thoughts.

Now, I cannot say this was a past memory. I have no proof of that. The image flashed into my mind and the thought that came with it was that it was me in a past life. But we all know our minds are cunning things, don't we? Regardless, what an amazing, living computer our minds are!

I'm not sure what this was all about, but it was cool as hell and I don't know what to make of it. But I did go and sign up to take that Dutch class again!

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Rest in peace, Isis (Nov 2001-Dec 2016)

My 52nd year hasn't started out so well, but it will get better. Today our 15-year-old black cat, Isis, died. She was old, cranky, and quite a diva. She died the same month, four years later, that our other black cat, Osiris, left us.

I'm incredibly sad, but we knew her time was coming. I've been in bed most all day, just like yesterday, but with a raging headache.

I'm feeling out of sorts, so it's going to be a bit before I'm up for conversation and regular tomfoolery. Right now I'm having a huge sad. But, as usual, I'll get my head straight again and dive into regular activities in short order. At least that's the plan.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

We are the lucky ones. For now.

I'm getting ready to make dinner and I can't stop thinking about Aleppo. To paraphrase my daughter, she said she's in her comfy apartment, watching movies with her fiance, and these horrific things are happening in Aleppo (and elsewhere, I might add).

You know, Paul and I live in a 30-ft RV. We don't have a permanent home and we don't know what the future holds for us. And right now, it's pretty damned scary for some of us in the United States of America, and on a global scale. Any of us could be part of what's happening in Aleppo in the near future.

Things can and do change in an instant, and big, holy-shit! events can happen when you least expect it -- or even when you do. This is not news, as it's always been that way. But lately, I've had a lot of things on my mind. And lately I've been thinking how it's best to appreciate the small things, the good things, the hopeful things as much as you can because nothing is guaranteed and nothing is set in stone.

This, again, is nothing new. But sometimes you have to have your country, your world, and your mind rocked out of its sockets to remind yourself of that. To remind yourself that one night you could be making dinner and watching Netflix, and a year from now you may have no dinner at all -- and you sure as hell won't have Netflix, because that would be the last thing on your mind.

I don't know what the future holds for any of us. But I do know that it's up to all of us to bring about a country -- and a world -- we all want to live in TOGETHER. And I don't know where any of this is going because this is a stream-of-consciousness post. Except that maybe I wanted to tell you all that, no matter what does happen to any of us, I want to thank you for your presence in my life, even if it's been through Facebook. Maybe you've made me laugh, cry, get pissed off, or whatever...but you affected me in some way, and that has made me grow as a person.

I don't know about you, but I have more life to live and more goals, ambitions, and dreams to pursue. Like you, I want to spend more time with my kids and I am looking forward to holding my first grandbaby. I'm not done here yet, you're not done here yet, this country isn't done yet, and this world damn sure isn't.

So this is a reminder that it's up to us to make the world a better place, in whatever way we can, and even if it's a small daily thing...because small acts add up and influence events and people. There is no 'us' and 'them.' The truth is there's only *us*, and we've gotta find a way to make all of this work out for the present and the future. If we don't, there's no going back.

Now I'm going to walk into my small kitchenette and make dinner. And my thoughts won't be on dinner, but many other things instead. I don't have a big home, a huge kitchen, or any property to call my own save for this RV, but tonight I am in a relatively safe place with food and shelter, which is a lot more than others can say.

Paul and our family are not being massacred by Assad's forces or burned alive, as some reports are saying. The feeling of helplessness is overwhelming. Women and children are NOT being spared in Aleppo. And all for what? For what, I ask you? I KNOW the so-called reasons...but ALL FOR WHAT?

Life is short and precious. All of this -- THIS -- goes away. Your big house, your food, your possessions, your...THINGS, countries, ideologies. Your body ceases to exist. As for your soul...well, we all know we can't or don't agree on that. But the pain, suffering,'s too much to wrap one's head around. And it seems so needless in the end. Doesn't it? It does, at least for me.

And here we will sit, eating dinner soon, but there will be a lump in my throat and tears welling in my eyes because we are the lucky ones. At least for now.