Why I study forensic psychology and criminology

I've dealt with real monsters in my life, including being sexually abused by one of my ex-stepfathers and victimized by a sociopath in later years as well. I learned a lot from those situations; I refuse to be a victim and cower in the aftermath of events that impacted my life in countless ways. Instead, I will educate myself to avoid it from happening again in the future.

I decided that I was going to study forensic psychology and learn about the behavior and genesis of such behavior in these people. I also used to work in back records in a police dept in the late 90s. Doing so opened my eyes a great deal to the criminal deviance in society.

The psychology of people who commit heinous and despicable crimes offers much opportunity to not only take steps to safeguard oneself as best you can, but also to explore how we, as a society, may be able to safeguard ourselves better from such people in the long run. That is IF we see the signs and act upon them accordingly.

Unfortunately, we are now seeing this type of psychopathy unfold on a large scale. We are now experiencing just how much chaos, pain, and death can be imposed on an entire country when a malignant narcissist and likely psychopath is in charge.

What goes around comes around – sometimes with unfortunate results

Yes, this is long. I hope you'll still indulge me by reading it. I've got to get this out in the open.

That moment when the awful someone gave out for decades slingshots back to them in a harsh and shocking way, and you're not sure how you feel about it. All I feel is sick to my stomach over the entire thing. Why couldn't they have been a better person? Why couldn't they have not manipulated and hurt people? Why couldn't they have not engaged in criminal behavior and cost someone else's life?

In case you've ever wondered why I focus on forensic psychology, and particularly those with ASPD - Antisocial Personality Disorder (sociopathy/psychopathy), it has a lot to do with the person I'm alluding to. I was targeted by this person. I was naive and the perfect victim, in fact. However, due to what I experienced, I am no longer a victim and don't plan on being one ever again (if I have anything to do with it).

I even jokingly told other friends that if anybody ever found me dead, to focus on that person first. Yep, that's how intense this person's obsession/targeting was. It was creepy, unsettling, scary. Even after I cut all ties, this person kept trying to interact with me and threatened/verbally abused me because I wouldn't give in. I deleted/blocked/ignored, but they still found a way to try and insert themselves into my life again.

As much as I'm friendly to people and have friends I care about, I no longer let people get too close to me for a reason. You'll only see so much of what's inside. Sadly, I never fully trust anybody. I always look for ulterior motives – or wonder what people's motives truly are – because of my past experience with the person I'm referring to and because I worked in a police department where I saw the worst side of humanity. Don't be fooled by appearances or the masks people wear.

Let's face it: every person on this earth has some sort of an agenda, however minimal. And yes, I realize how bad that sounds, but once you've been targeted by a person with nefarious intentions, complete trust is a difficult gift to give to anybody.

So, my nerves have been on edge today – and for good reason – but I don't want to be more specific about the situation than I have been here. The dogs have been restless as well, so I have no doubt they've picked up on my nervous energy/anxiety. I'm currently processing a lot of thoughts/feelings.

I knew everything would eventually catch up with the person, but I'm not happy with the results. Instead, I'm sick to my stomach. Even after everything that's happened, I feel sorry for this person. But even more so, I feel more sympathy for their victim(s), one of whom is no longer alive because of this person's actions/involvement.

I'm not great at keeping things inside. Needed to get some of it out. I'll likely write a blog post about the entire tale in the future, but not right now. Not ready yet.

Really hate mindf*ck situations. Don't you?

Also completed -- The Addicted Brain through Emory University

Also -- I completed a course on The Addicted Brain through Emory University back on August 8th. Even though the course was over, I checked to see if I could get financial aid to obtain the official certificate post-completion and they approved my request! So I also got an official certificate for THAT course as well :-). On a roll here, folks!

Final grade: 94.7%

Psychology of Popularity -- finished two weeks early

Yay! Finished the course almost two weeks EARLY! :-)
Final grade: 94.1%

Completed! Dog Emotion and Cognition course from Duke University

Just completed a course on Dog Emotion and Cognition through Duke University. Fascinating stuff!
As most of you know, my husband and I own four dogs, so the information I learned we can put into practice. Psychology applies to other animals besides humans, after all. ;-)

Totally psyched? Yes!

++Totally Psyched++ is a Facebook page devoted to all things psychology. This community was created by and is maintained by me, Bev R. Sninchak.

Instead of unleashing a deluge of psychology-related info, articles, and posts on my personal FB page while I'm pursuing further education in psychology (particularly forensic psychology), I figured this would be a better solution.

Since I can't always read articles when I come across them, especially when I'm in the middle of work, this will act as a repository so I can come back later and pull up what I wasn't able to read at the time I located the info.

In addition, I know a lot of you are as fascinated by psychology and other social sciences as I am. So why not delve into the subject matter together and discuss it?

Please join me (and 60 others, so far) at Totally Psyched. I hope you find interesting information there, if only for your personal edification. Post any content there that you run across, too. Just make sure it's relevant to the overall topic(s).

Hope to see you over there,

Bev

For lots of cool stuff, check out the Social Psychology Network site

Are you on the Social Psychology Network as well? Let's connect! Here is the link to my SPN member page:
http://www.socialpsychology.org/member/sninchak

Life is hard, but you are NOT alone!

Not asleep yet. So many emotions. Third friend/classmate in three years who's taken his own life. Troubled. I'm so troubled. Full of sadness and frustration.

Life is hard. It's so freaking hard! I know this because the past four years have been HELL for us in this family. There are times when I haven't wanted to get out of bed or even wake up the next day and face another day of b.s. and soul-crushing challenges. But nobody ever promised me that life would be easy, and although it's rough terrain, I have no idea what awaits me over the next mountain pass (so to speak) and I'm not giving up on this journey until I see what the next roadside attraction is.

I don't know what YOUR b.s. and soul-crushing challenges are, but every day IS another day...and all cycles end. Nothing stays the same forever. Some cycles are longer than others. Some cycles feel like an eternity (believe me, I'm in the middle of one of them!) I just know that, although it doesn't seem like it right now, you CAN make it and you CAN get past these things you're dealing with.

Please, please listen to me: I can't do much, but if you are having a hard time and you need to talk to someone -- if you're to the point of NO RETURN -- please get in touch with me or at least talk to someone...please reach out...please don't cross that line of no return. Okay? Please do this for me, friend? Here is a number you should write down and put where you have it at all times. Memorize it or do whatever...just USE it, if need be:

1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week
Languages: English, Spanish
Website: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

Life can be dark, painful, disturbing, and any number of other things. But think of life as a book full of chapters, full of pages, full of plot twists. You are the author. You are writing this book. You can't control everything, but you can control your part and how you react or act upon things.

Look, I can be blunt at times and come off as an a-hole at other times, but deep inside, I'm really not. You matter. You freaking matter, okay? Believe it. Know it. We have more laughs to share here...and if I haven't offended you yet, then you HAVE to stick around, 'cause I'm trying! *smile* Plus I have more dirty jokes to post and crazy stuff to share.

In all seriousness, you're gonna be okay. You got this. Promise. And if you need to lean on others to find your strength again, then take my hand...and someone else's...and someone else's beyond that. It's okay if you feel fragile, weak, worn out. You're human. We all are. And until you can find the strength to support yourself and stand strong again, there are those of us out there who will help you stand.

Reach out...my hand is waiting.

Do good for good's sake, whenever possible

Never understood why I end up talking to strangers about their problems under the weirdest circumstances. A depressed and nearly suicidal college guy was playing in WoW and was obviously in need of help.

Everyone ignored him and he said, "Well, I guess I should quit college and hang myself." Yes, he could've been joking...but a longtime friend and classmate of mine, Harold Hitt, committed suicide in August 2012 and it's haunted me ever since. I should've picked up the phone and called to see how he was doing. I should've done something...even if it didn't stop him in the long run and he killed himself anyway.

Another friend, Terry, committed suicide a couple years ago. I only knew him through Livejournal, but I'd been online friends with him for years.

Both of those events still haunt me. So when I watched this situation unfold in World of Warcraft, I couldn't just be silent and ignore him. So I talked to him for about a half-hour. Found out he was drunk and depressed, feeling like his real-life friends had abandoned him and were ignoring him.

Anyway, those are the basics -- but I talked to him, then another person joined in the conversation as well. The end result was that the depressed college fellow said he was feeling better, and that what we told him made sense, and that he was going to log off and seek out his friends and do something that made him feel better.

I'm not sure what will or won't happen. I can only be sure that I tried to help in some way -- as did the other person. Before he left, he told both of us that we seemed 'legit' and like decent people, and he thanked us.

I hope he has a better day tomorrow, and all days after that. I never want to hear about a person I know (or become acquainted with) committing suicide or being ignored when they're depressed.

I suffer from major depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Without my family and friends, I may not have been here to this day. But I am. And as long as I'm here, if I can do a good deed that helps someone else -- even if they don't know me -- that's what matters.

Do good for good's sake, whenever possible. It may save someone's life.

A 'good' psychopath? Not sure there is such a thing!

My score--a low 15%. So it appears I could be psychopath bait, something I already knew. Fortunately for me, I've encountered people who are high on the psychopathic scale, so at least I have that experience going for me.

"You are warm and empathic with a heightened awareness of social responsibility and a strong sense of conscience. You like to carefully weigh up the pros and cons of a situation before you act and are generally averse to taking risks. You are very much a 'people person' and dislike conflict. 'Do unto others...' are your watchwords. But, although you avoid hurting others, those residing at the higher end of the psychopathic spectrum might not be as considerate, so stay vigilant to avoid being hurt unnecessarily."

Take the test here:

http://www.thegoodpsychopath.com

How some women give the rest of us a bad name

Thoughts after reading comments on a FB page geared toward women (and why I'll unlike that page):

I'm a woman, and I gotta say that way too many women are catty, two-faced bitches that will stab you in the back at a moment's notice. They're too cowardly to stab you in the front -- it's always the back when you least expect it.

Not talking about you guys, of course. If you were like that, you'd be off this page as soon as I recognized that behavior. Who needs that kind of shit in life? Not me. I have enough to contend with.

The behavior exhibited by many women is the reason I prefer to hang around males and other women who are more like me. For many women, it's not about supporting other women or encouraging them. It's about superficiality, competition, and jealousy/envy. Quite the shame. It doesn't cost a damn thing to be HAPPY for someone else's success or good fortune. There's no shortage of those things, and I believe the more you're happy for other people, the better things you attract in your own life. It doesn't take away from you to congratulate others or be inspired by them.

You are YOU and there's nobody else like you. The only person you should compete with to improve is YOURSELF. Who gives a shit what the other person's hair looks like, where they got their nails done, how many shoes they have, what their cologne smells like? I sure as hell don't! I'm me and I'll dress as I like, fix my hair like I want, wear my nails as I see fit, and choose the cologne I want to wear. You do your thing, I'll do mine. I'm an individual and NOT any of you, and I'm happy about that.

I got a whole bunch of flack in high school because I had plenty of guy friends. Inevitably, other females thought I was screwing all of them, not realizing that I wasn't and that it is possible to be platonic friends/buddies with males. I've done it my entire life. I preferred to hike in the woods or Garden of the Gods with my male buddies than sit by a pool tanning any old day. Besides, I have fair skin, so it's a cycle of burn and peel with me, not tan ;-).

When I see such petty behavior on pages geared toward women, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. It makes me not want to participate in that page. I don't expect those types of women to change, and that's sad and frustrating for the rest of us who are female.

[Article] What type of perfectionist are you?

I'm a socially-prescribed perfectionist. Yep! I have a HUGE fear of failure and I'm terrified of embarrassment, shame, and guilt. This is why I've never understood writers who have told me, "Oh, my novel will be a bestseller and is so much better than those on the NYT Bestseller list!" Um...that's so overconfident and bold. There's just no way I could ever say that. I mean...wow...I'm way too critical of myself and nothing I ever do is as good as I think it should be. But I also fear success. I mean, if I succeeded, then that would mean pressure to ALWAYS succeed (at least in my mind). Basically, I'm neurotic as hell!

So much for not caring what others think, right? Still got lots to work on, it seems! Oh well...awareness is an important first step.

What Flavor of Perfectionist Are You? - Psychology Today

From the article:
"In contrast, socially prescribed perfectionists may be compared to neurotic perfectionists [a term originally coined by Hamachek] in that they do not derive pleasure from their labors and efforts and tend to view their work as inadequate or inferior. Furthermore, they report experiencing external pressure and or coercion to accomplish tasks. Therefore, the maladaptive symptoms of the socially prescribed perfectionist emerge not from an internally felt desire to be their best, but more from a fear of failure and/or a desire to avoid embarrassment, shame and guilt" (p. 154).

Dealing with PTSD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder--Overwhelmed by Human Interaction

I joined a FB group for those, like me, who have Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist in summer of 2006). Sadly, the group only causes more anxiety and agitation for me, so I had to remove myself. It was too much to deal with. Lots of overwhelming, intense posts and many upsetting ones that acted as triggers.

This is why I wouldn't want to do group therapy--because when people are in pain and hurting, it impacts me so much on the inside (though I may not show it on the outside), that my anxiety disorder kicks in, along with the nasty PTSD side effects, and I end up feeling unwell. If I become too emotionally upset, I get sick because my system gets so run down from it all.

So, if I ever tell you, "I am not ready to talk about this right now," or, "I have to sit with this; I'll get back to you later," please don't push me. There's a reason why I tell you those things. Respect my boundaries and wishes, just as I would do for you.

And while I do meditate, practice breathing, and do other things to assist with managing my Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and PTSD, it takes much more than those things to treat my issues. Simplistic advice for complex problems doesn't wash, especially when you aren't me and you don't know all the facts or backstory/history.

If you don't "get" me, this post is for you

To those of you who don't "get me" or are frustrated at trying to connect with me. Please read and, perhaps, you'll understand. Or not. At any rate, this is how things are with me, and you can accept them or not. You cannot change the person I am or erase the issues I've had all my life. I'm pasting a conversation I had with sister Aspergirl friend, Thorne. In hindsight, I think it was meant for a blog post.

First and foremost, I am an Aspie female. I did not have a clue until last year. **And this is where I pick up from Thorne's conversation**: "After going through life and wondering what was wrong with me, and learning how to 'act' in order to get along with others (the best I can) and cope with my surroundings, it was a relief to find out there was an explanation for it. Now I just wish that some people I know would take the time to understand why I am the way that I am and not ask me to change for them.

My biggest pet peeve is when someone who is not me and who has NOT lived my life tries to tell me I'm THIS but NOT that -- and they try to act like they know who I am inside. I think I know myself better than anyone else, quite frankly, and I am most assuredly a female Aspie. I'm also very smart and I have learned to shift my behavior and I've had to learn to cope by mimicking others or learning how to respond (there are still situations where I mess it up) throughout my life. I know (Thorne) you've had the SAME problems with such things. It's very annoying! Pretty arrogant for someone else to act like THEY know you better than yourself, isn't it? Grrrr! I think I've lived in this body and with this mind for 48 1/2 years and have had a lot of experiences that they don't know about, so they can either accept that this IS me or they can pound sand. They don't get to tell ME who I am, know what I mean? I'm just thinking of the stuff you and I have discussed privately. People can be soo annoying over stuff like this. I'm glad Nan posted it and shared with me!

Like you said, this will definitely come in handy; it would be even handier if you could have a sheet that you carried around and handed out to people when they "just don't get you." You could say, "Here, read this!" They probably wouldn't, because most of them don't care enough to bother. But still, it's tempting."

I always find it interesting that people who would push, scream and cry against you trying to change them or tell them who they are seem all too eager to change YOU or tell YOU who you are or are not. What arrogance! I know who I am, I know all kinds of shit I've been through (that YOU know nothing about) and I think I'm more of an expert on ME than you are by far.

I love when I tell people I have PTSD and they try to tell me I couldn't possibly have it (like my oldest brother did). Hey, why not talk the psychiatrist who diagnosed me (along with several other issues)-- how about that? Who the hell is ANYONE to tell ME they are a bigger expert on me than I am MYSELF?! I wouldn't EVER dare do that to someone else. It's not my place, and it's not anyone else's place to do that to me.

So, the bottom line is that I'm who I am am for a reason, and if I do not fit into your tidy world view or you don't know how to "deal" or "connect" with me, that's your issue and not mine. If I cannot "deal" with someone or cannot "connect" with them (and I can be nice and congenial to most people, but I rarely feel a true and deep connection with them -- just being honest), I simply decide to keep walking my path and if we find a way to relate, that's great. If we don't, I'm not interested in forcing it into being something it's not.

I will say this -- if you have publicly insulted or embarrassed me in the past, there is very little chance I will allow you an opening to do that again. Rude, tactless behavior directed at shaming someone in front of others by drawing attention to their physical appearance is NOT a cool thing to do, and if you truly had compassion, you wouldn't think of doing that to a so-called friend.

Okay, a long post, but I needed to get it out of my system. If I've offended anyone, that's your issue. You're welcome to stay, but invited to leave if you do not understand that this is my virtual home and sanctuary and I post whatever I want on my blog without any permission needed. This place is primarily for MY expression and thoughts. You have your own place for YOUR expression and thoughts.

Also, a warning: if you are combative or mean in the comments, you will be removed and blocked. I don't think anyone will be, but just in case. :-) This is a statement I needed to make in a firm, yet authentic, way. It is NOT a post that's up for debate or examination. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming. ;-)