Willful ignorance and/or stupidity doesn't look good on Americans

Based on dealing with the public five days a week, it's clear that most Americans are stupid and/or ignorant (yes, there's a difference). It's obvious how we ended up with clueless Trump in office!

Also: the customers from overseas I've dealt with -- from Europe, in particular -- are more polite and well-spoken than the vast majority of Americans I've encountered.

And people wonder why we need a better education system? It's not hard to see why. Get educated, Americans! Read a damned book every once in a while. Take a class. Learn a new language. Become literate in science.

Intellectualism isn't a bad thing. But being proud of (and even bragging about) your stupidity/ignorance is.

Three feet, 36 inches!

I'm watching "Very British Problems" on Acorn TV and I can relate to some of these situations. I can relate to NOT wanting to talk to people when I'm out in public – like strangers or random people who attempt to start conversations in elevators, waiting rooms, buses, trains, etc. And, invariably, throughout my life, I not only attract people who sit RIGHT next to me but also begin a conversation.

I'm also a beacon for the strangest, quirkiest person in the room. And for some reason, strangers will immediately tell the damndest things! They just start talking and it's like I'm their therapist.

Another way I can relate: handshakes, hugs, kisses on the cheek ALL make me uncomfortable, especially if I don't know you at all or well. I always default to a firm handshake, and will hug back if it's initiated (still awkward), and HIGHLY dislike people who go in for a kiss (like the French, I suppose). Strangers who exhibit unwanted familiarity and/or closeness make me want to GET AWAY as soon as possible.

Also, don't touch the top of my head, even if you're joking. I cannot STAND that. I'm short, so patting me on the head is a no-no. When I was pregnant, people would touch or pat my baby bump without asking and that got on my nerves. Especially where men were concerned. Drunk ones in particular!

In the episode I watched, they discussed how some Brits often use their phones to pretend they have a call and can't talk, even if there's no call. I'VE DONE THAT BEFORE! Unfortunately, while I was pretending to be on a call, the phone rang, and I was busted. I pretended the call had dropped without me knowing, and the person had called back. I SUCK at lying, so I'm sure my facial expression gave it away.

One more they discussed in the show: pretending that you heard someone even though you didn't hear what they said in the first place. I do this as well by saying, "Uh-huh" or "Oh, really?", shaking my head, or laughing.

Also, when people stare at me it gives me the creeps. Last night at IHOP there was a guy (obviously homeless and with severe mental issues) who was missing most of his nose. His face was disfigured. That's not a problem because bad things happen to people and you can't judge a person solely from the outside. He was in a booth, sitting and talking to not only himself, but to an imaginary person next to him. I happened to sit at our table right in eyeshot of the guy. Usually, I try to avoid facing people, but this time it didn't occur to me that he would STARE at me from across the room, all night until it gave me chills. I had to walk right past him when heading to the bathroom, so that was unnerving. I've been known to wear sunglasses not because of the sun, but because people wouldn't be able to see my eyes easily or stare into them.

Now, I know these situations are NOT exclusive to Britain. However, when I visited the UK, I noticed situations where the British were SO polite and understated, whereas here in America those situations would NOT have been handled the same way. For example, a drunk stumbled into a Pizza Hut in London, disrupting the restaurant, and the entire thing was handled with so much class and dignity that I was amazed.

What goes around comes around – sometimes with unfortunate results

Yes, this is long. I hope you'll still indulge me by reading it. I've got to get this out in the open.

That moment when the awful someone gave out for decades slingshots back to them in a harsh and shocking way, and you're not sure how you feel about it. All I feel is sick to my stomach over the entire thing. Why couldn't they have been a better person? Why couldn't they have not manipulated and hurt people? Why couldn't they have not engaged in criminal behavior and cost someone else's life?

In case you've ever wondered why I focus on forensic psychology, and particularly those with ASPD - Antisocial Personality Disorder (sociopathy/psychopathy), it has a lot to do with the person I'm alluding to. I was targeted by this person. I was naive and the perfect victim, in fact. However, due to what I experienced, I am no longer a victim and don't plan on being one ever again (if I have anything to do with it).

I even jokingly told other friends that if anybody ever found me dead, to focus on that person first. Yep, that's how intense this person's obsession/targeting was. It was creepy, unsettling, scary. Even after I cut all ties, this person kept trying to interact with me and threatened/verbally abused me because I wouldn't give in. I deleted/blocked/ignored, but they still found a way to try and insert themselves into my life again.

As much as I'm friendly to people and have friends I care about, I no longer let people get too close to me for a reason. You'll only see so much of what's inside. Sadly, I never fully trust anybody. I always look for ulterior motives – or wonder what people's motives truly are – because of my past experience with the person I'm referring to and because I worked in a police department where I saw the worst side of humanity. Don't be fooled by appearances or the masks people wear.

Let's face it: every person on this earth has some sort of an agenda, however minimal. And yes, I realize how bad that sounds, but once you've been targeted by a person with nefarious intentions, complete trust is a difficult gift to give to anybody.

So, my nerves have been on edge today – and for good reason – but I don't want to be more specific about the situation than I have been here. The dogs have been restless as well, so I have no doubt they've picked up on my nervous energy/anxiety. I'm currently processing a lot of thoughts/feelings.

I knew everything would eventually catch up with the person, but I'm not happy with the results. Instead, I'm sick to my stomach. Even after everything that's happened, I feel sorry for this person. But even more so, I feel more sympathy for their victim(s), one of whom is no longer alive because of this person's actions/involvement.

I'm not great at keeping things inside. Needed to get some of it out. I'll likely write a blog post about the entire tale in the future, but not right now. Not ready yet.

Really hate mindf*ck situations. Don't you?

Oh, the drama!

Ever notice how, when you mind your own business, other people—and sometimes even strangers—can't stand the calm and feel compelled to start drama? I'll never understand it. It's like some people cannot bear to have a calm atmosphere, so they take great pleasure in stirring up shit just to get a reaction or to annoy others.

Example: late last night, Paul and I left Britt's apartment and headed over to where we are currently parking our RV while we are in town. It was late, and I was tired. All I wanted to do was go to bed. We crawled into bed, talked for a bit, and settled in (with our dogs) to go to sleep. Next thing we know, there's a woman outside our RV yelling. I couldn't make out what she was saying. Turns out, she was griping and intentionally antagonizing our dogs—AT 5 IN THE MORNING! She returned to her RV, which was parked to the left of ours and across the way, but then a little while later, she came back over to where we were and began yelling again. This time, she started yelling, "RUFF, RUFF, RUFF!" to get the dogs stirred up.

My first reaction: WTF?! Was she drunk? High? What the hell was her problem at FIVE in the morning that she would intentionally try to antagonize our dogs?!

Paul and I prefer to dodge conflict if we can, so we didn't engage her and got the dogs back into the back of the RV, into our bedroom. They'd gone up front to react to the stupid shit she was yelling and the RUFF RUFF sounds she was making. Finally, we fell asleep. I still felt uncomfortable because I had a feeling she wasn't done with us yet. I was right.

In the morning, around 11:45 a.m., Paul and I are sleeping—as were the dogs—and guess what happened? Yep, you probably figured out that she walked over by our RV and started raising hell again, talking loudly and intentionally trying to stir things up again. *sigh* What in the hell did this woman want, and what was her motivation for disturbing us and antagonizing our dogs?! I must admit, I was trying to figure out what her motive was, but then I became annoyed...and later on, angry.

Basically, Paul and I want to be left alone to do our thing, which is primarily our jobs, studying, gaming, reading, or watching movies/shows. We are pretty simple people and we like our peace. Now here we had a complete stranger who decided that, for whatever reason, we were going to be her target. Just great.

You know, I just don't understand most people. I haven't for most of my life, though I've tried my level best to figure them out. But often, I feel like I'm an alien from another planet and that most of society is speaking another language or something. Might be why I'm so interested in psychology and why I've thrown myself into my Social and Forensic Psychology studies. Human beings are like exotic animals to me at times, even though I KNOW that I am a human being myself.

Long story short, I told Britt about what was going on and she said, "I'll be right over." My first thought was, "Oh, shit." Mainly because Britt is a lot like me when she gets riled up. Once she's there, she doesn't take anybody's shit. A few minutes later, Britt and her fiance, Tack, arrived. They went over and talked to the woman's boyfriend (who was embarrassed about the whole ordeal) and to the woman herself. Turns out the woman and her boyfriend were having serious issues, and he'd already thrown her stuff out of the RV and was going to break up with her and leave her after 6 1/2 years.

The woman, whose name is Lisa, shook my hand and told me she owed us an apology, that she'd projected her anger over her personal situation onto us. I felt compassion for her and told her that Paul and I didn't like to have conflict with people unless we had no other choice. We chatted for a few more minutes and left to walk back over to our RV. On the way back, her boyfriend indicated that he was sorry for the drama she had caused us. And I'm glad it was resolved—permanently, I hope—but as I sit here, I wonder how things will turn out for them. I saw the expression on her face and on his face. My heart dropped to my stomach because I knew it was a trying time for both of them, exacerbated by her acting out toward us and the dogs due to misplaced anger.

I've mentioned this before, but one unexpected side effect of living full-time in an RV is that you are THIS MUCH CLOSER to humanity and you're face-to-face with the real nature of human beings and society in general. It's unpleasant, it's often shocking, and it's a wake-up call. When you're in a house or apartment, you might get exposed to these things for a short time as you run errands and the like. But when you live in an RV and your home is wherever you park it, you SEE the pain, the trials of life, the layers of hurt, the disappointment. You also hear the tales of hard times and heartbreak. And you can attempt to steel yourself against all of this as much as you want, but in the end, you can't help but be affected in some way.

I would've never had some of these experiences otherwise, and it's added a dimension to my compassion, my mercy, my tolerance. I'm realizing that we're all just trying to make it on a daily basis, and for some people, it's damned hard to wake up and face another day. I've been there before, and I understand how they feel. And no matter how good my fortune gets in the future, I will never forget the things I've seen and heard so far, or the lessons I've learned. With everything in me, I truly hope Lisa and her boyfriend reconcile and they have a better life together than they could've ever imagined. No more pain, no more suffering.

Drama is so uncomfortable to me and is becoming more so as I become older. There are times when you cannot avoid conflict and you DO have to speak your mind, stand up for your rights, and set or reinforce boundaries. But I guess it's all about choosing your battles, and some are so trivial and basic that communication can usually resolve the problem. My first reaction was to leave and not even address the issue with Lisa because confronting or talking with strangers can lead to hair-trigger reactions in this day and age. You never know when someone will pull a weapon or do something off the charts in a fit of overreaction. But to my daughter's credit, as well as Tack's, they took the bull by the horns and addressed the issue in a direct, non-threatening manner.

Today I was the student and my 24-year-old daughter was my teacher. How cool is that?

[RV experiences] A cry for help in the middle of the night

Oh my gosh, I need to post about this before I forget! This morning, close to 4 a.m., I was finally ready to drift off to sleep. All of a sudden, a man starts yelling, "HELP!" in a frantic, desperate voice. You could tell he was running toward where we were parked in the RV. Paul looked out the window and grabbed his phone to call 911 if it came to that.

Surprisingly, five people appeared out of nowhere to help—at 4 a.m.!—and Paul saw another guy laid out on the concrete on a traffic island near Fountain Blvd. Since five people were already attempting to help, we stayed in the RV.

A little while later, the second guy was sitting up. We saw flashing lights, so an emergency vehicle had arrived. We don't know what happened, but I know that I have never heard a man yell that loudly or frantically. Took me quite a while to get back to sleep. I hope everyone involved is okay and all is well.

One thing about living in an RV is that you are closer and more involved with humanity and its wounds and ills when you're in the city than you would be living in your house or apartment. It's both startling and humbling. Definitely food for thought.

Paul & I stand with our LGBT friends against homophobia

I'm hearing a lot about people threatening to pull a gun if they come across a trans woman in the bathroom. First, that makes them look like a raging coward. Second, Paul and I have trans friends AND gay friends. One of my brothers is gay, in fact. And if you say anything about my brother OR any of my gay friends, you better check yourself.

Also, if I see anybody harassing a trans man or woman, I will step up and be an ally. I will NOT allow such behavior to pass without a challenge. How dare some of you be so callous and uneducated about this issue!

Why don't you put your energies into eradicating pedophile priests from the Catholic church? Or is it God's will? Bullshit. That's a cop-out. Always has been. What a sick excuse for disgusting and criminal behavior.

Paul and I value our LGBT friends. They are some of the best friends we have. We will be allies for them against haters and homophobes.

Some people sit their asses in church on Sundays, acting like they are pious and shit. They are anything but. They are posers, hypocrites, and cold-hearted people. They use religion as an excuse to be shitty people. Christian, my ass!

I'm a staunch anti-theist and I'm more Christlike in my behavior than they are! They're fronting, and deep down they know it. I'd like to see Jesus show up and whip out a rochambeau on their asses for their hypocrisy.

Do good for good's sake, whenever possible

Never understood why I end up talking to strangers about their problems under the weirdest circumstances. A depressed and nearly suicidal college guy was playing in WoW and was obviously in need of help.

Everyone ignored him and he said, "Well, I guess I should quit college and hang myself." Yes, he could've been joking...but a longtime friend and classmate of mine, Harold Hitt, committed suicide in August 2012 and it's haunted me ever since. I should've picked up the phone and called to see how he was doing. I should've done something...even if it didn't stop him in the long run and he killed himself anyway.

Another friend, Terry, committed suicide a couple years ago. I only knew him through Livejournal, but I'd been online friends with him for years.

Both of those events still haunt me. So when I watched this situation unfold in World of Warcraft, I couldn't just be silent and ignore him. So I talked to him for about a half-hour. Found out he was drunk and depressed, feeling like his real-life friends had abandoned him and were ignoring him.

Anyway, those are the basics -- but I talked to him, then another person joined in the conversation as well. The end result was that the depressed college fellow said he was feeling better, and that what we told him made sense, and that he was going to log off and seek out his friends and do something that made him feel better.

I'm not sure what will or won't happen. I can only be sure that I tried to help in some way -- as did the other person. Before he left, he told both of us that we seemed 'legit' and like decent people, and he thanked us.

I hope he has a better day tomorrow, and all days after that. I never want to hear about a person I know (or become acquainted with) committing suicide or being ignored when they're depressed.

I suffer from major depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Without my family and friends, I may not have been here to this day. But I am. And as long as I'm here, if I can do a good deed that helps someone else -- even if they don't know me -- that's what matters.

Do good for good's sake, whenever possible. It may save someone's life.

No room for racism; we are all connected

Wonder if racists ever realize how ignorant and uneducated they sound? Whenever I read a racist comment on an article (usually one about President Obama!), I automatically think, "Wow, that person has issues...and they're stupid to boot." The race you should be concerned about is the HUMAN race. We are all connected. It's easy to see this if you find out about your ancestral DNA. Once you realize how connected you are through your DNA to other parts of the world, you realize that there is no 'them or us.' It's all WE.

Here's an example:

According to my DNA, the oldest female in my maternal haplogroup can be traced back to the Middle East, particularly in the Fertile Crescent.

The site states, "The haplogroup continues to have a strong presence in the region today, comprising about 10-20% of the populations of Iraq, Iran, Syria and Palestine, and 25% of the population of the Arabian peninsula."

Haplogroup: J1, a subgroup of J
Age: more than 38,000 years
Region: Europe, Near East
Example Populations: British, Scandinavians
The Vikings carried J1 from Britain to Norway and Iceland.
Highlight: J1 spread from the Middle East all the way to Iceland."

* Source: 23andme.com 

As I've said before, we are all connected. Yes, I'm American. But if not for my ancestors in other parts of the world, I wouldn't EXIST today. Think about the human connections. I'm over 98% Northern European (Scotland, Wales, Ireland, Norway/Scandinavia). But J1 made it out of the Middle East THOUSANDS of years ago and then spread to other parts of the world.

So when you speak of 'those people' in Africa, the Middle East, Asia, or anywhere else, you should first think about the origins of the human race and how we all came to be. Again, your concern should be with the HUMAN race. We are all in this together. If we don't start acting like it, there will BE no more human race.

One more thing: TRAVEL. If you've never been overseas or to another country, DO IT. I find people who've never been outside the U.S. are sometimes the most xenophobic and ignorant of all.

Anti-semitism is also ridiculous. I've never understood hatred of the Jews. My literary agent of ten years, Meredith Bernstein of the Meredith Bernstein Agency in NYC, is Jewish. She's also brilliant and has always been kind to me. My son was often mistaken for being Jewish when he lived in NYC because his name is Jonathan, which is apparently a popular male Jewish name. He dated several Jewish girls, too. I don't get the whole anti-semitic thing. Never have, never will. To me, when people make anti-semitic comments online, it always ends up sounding like jealousy. To be honest, there have been times when I wish I were Jewish.

My tolerance for racists or anti-semites is about as low as for pedophiles, rapists, and murderers -- ZERO. If you want to get the cold shoulder from me or be outright ignored, say something racist or anti-semitic. Chances are, I'll unleash verbal napalm on you first, though.

Folks, it's the 21st century. Time to grow up! There's NO place for such attitudes in our society. They only serve to divide us into them vs. us. Then it makes things much easier to do awful things to those 'other' people who look different from us or live in a different country. After all, then you don't see them as people like you or me; instead, they're objects or things and not people with families, lives, history, etc. That's not only sad, it's senseless as well. Time to evolve!

Dealing with PTSD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder--Overwhelmed by Human Interaction

I joined a FB group for those, like me, who have Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist in summer of 2006). Sadly, the group only causes more anxiety and agitation for me, so I had to remove myself. It was too much to deal with. Lots of overwhelming, intense posts and many upsetting ones that acted as triggers.

This is why I wouldn't want to do group therapy--because when people are in pain and hurting, it impacts me so much on the inside (though I may not show it on the outside), that my anxiety disorder kicks in, along with the nasty PTSD side effects, and I end up feeling unwell. If I become too emotionally upset, I get sick because my system gets so run down from it all.

So, if I ever tell you, "I am not ready to talk about this right now," or, "I have to sit with this; I'll get back to you later," please don't push me. There's a reason why I tell you those things. Respect my boundaries and wishes, just as I would do for you.

And while I do meditate, practice breathing, and do other things to assist with managing my Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and PTSD, it takes much more than those things to treat my issues. Simplistic advice for complex problems doesn't wash, especially when you aren't me and you don't know all the facts or backstory/history.

Spread inspiration wherever you can

We were in Subway the other day and the young man behind the counter and I chatted briefly. A guy came in and wanted to break a hundred-dollar bill. I told the counter guy, "It's hard to find a place that'll break a hundred-dollar bill. I hardly ever have them, though. Heck, I hardly have a fifty-dollar bill!" He laughed in agreement. I told him that someday I hoped he made tons of money and had lots of hundred-dollar bills. He smiled and told me thanks. You could see his face light up. Before I left, I told him thank you and added, "Don't ever give up on your dreams." It was a positive exchange, and I hope that, somehow, he will remember one day that a stranger told him those words so he'll act on them. Never let the world crush your dreams or your hope. Many attempts will happen, and some days you'll be so low you'll feel like giving in. I know I have! But there's always hope and a ray of light somewhere. You just have to find it! I'm still looking...I know it's out there...