Imaginary party guests

If I could have a big, blowout party and was able to invite anybody at all (and they'd accept), here is my list of must-have attendees (so far):

Snoop Dogg
Joe Biden
The Obamas
Bernie Sanders
Amy Schumer
Adrianne Curry
Russell Brand
Jay Mewes
Kevin Smith
Trae Crowder (The Liberal Redneck)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
A resurrected Heath Ledger
A resurrected Jim Morrison
A resurrected Carl Sagan
Stephen Hawking
Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Bill Nye
Chelsea Handler
Jon Ronson
Stephen King
Neil Gaiman
Amanda Palmer
Anne Rice
A resurrected Christopher Lee
A resurrected Peter Cushing
A resurrected Vincent Price
Evan Peters
A resurrected Michael Crichton
Christopher Moore
Johnny Depp
John Cusack
Marilyn Manson
A resurrected Phil Burns
Haruki Murakami
Annie Lennox
Gloria Steinem
Ronnie James Dio
A resurrected Einstein
A resurrected Baruch Spinoza
The Dalai Lama

The MC would be Richard Cheese...because why not?

Now...could you IMAGINE the conversations at that party?!
Who else would be a good addition? Comment below.

Random bit of fun

Thanks to Lyn Benoit Goodnight for sharing this. It was fun!

Everything is so serious these days. Let's have a little fun... (And I'm genuinely curious to read other peoples' if they fill it out).

Four names I go by

1. Bev
2. Mom
3. Honey (Paul calls me this)
4. Star (my birth name, before adoption; my birth mom calls me this and I write women's fiction under this name as well).
Four places I've lived:
1. Colorado
2. Germany
3. Oklahoma
4. Virginia
Four places I have worked:
1. Freelance writer and editor since May 1997.
2. City of Enid, Oklahoma
3. General Electric Capital Corporation (GECC)
4. Sovran Bank (before it became Bank of America)
Four things I love to watch on TV:
1. Biographies
2. Documentaries
3. Series (Vikings, GoT, Better Call Saul, OITNB, AHS, Orphan Black, Transparent, etc.)
4. J-dramas like "Ghostwriter," but these are online via Crunchyroll.com
Four places I have been:
1. Edinburgh, Scotland
2. London, England
3. France (but not Paris. How lame is that?!)
4. Holland
Four things I love to eat:
1. Pizza
2. Tacos/Burritos/Nachos, etc.
3. Schnitzel
4. Katsudon OR Tonkatsu
Four people I think will respond:
1. Chandra
2. Carly Dew
3. Mary Meek
4. Not sure who else.
Favorite drinks:
1. Dr. Pepper
2. Pepsi of any kind
3. Coffee (hot or cold)
4. Horchata
Now here is what you're supposed to do. Please don't spoil the fun...copy and paste this in your status and update it with your responses. To copy this, just hold your finger down on this text, and it will highlight this entire post. Select copy, then go to your status, tap in the message. Have some fun!

[Musings] Maybe...

Ever get tired of life's bullshit and constraints? All the rules, social expectations, marching to other people's drums? 

I do. 

Maybe I just want to spend a month doing nothing but being silly, laughing, sightseeing, having no schedule, daring to say and do things others might not approve of. 

Maybe I want to be selfish. 

Maybe I want to set off on a journey with no idea of where it'll lead me. 

Maybe I want to stand naked on a beach under a full moon and feel tears of joy stream down my face. 

Maybe I want to fill a tub with lime green gelatin and play around in it. 

Maybe I want to live without rules, boundaries, or expectations before I die. 

Maybe that's what I want.

On retraining myself, and others

This is long, but it addresses some of you. Therefore, this is why it's not only posted on my blogs, but on Facebook as well. If the shoe fits, wear it. If it doesn't, don't worry about it. Savvy?:

Ever feel like you're shouting into the void and nobody is hearing you? Of, if they are hearing you, they aren't listening? I feel that way much of the time. Not with every person, but with most.

Until I lose my shit, hardly anybody takes me seriously or listens, and that's a big pet peeve of mine. It's unnecessary to become a volcano and erupt. Much easier to listen, understand, and try to do something about things BEFORE the lava flows, right?

I don't like to erupt. It's not pretty, trust me. You've seen me upset on here, but you've NEVER seen me erupt (well, save for maybe a few of you). It's not healthy for anybody involved, including me, and it leaves wounds and scars afterward. But alas, I AM human and I can only take so much.

If you need or want things from me, I ask that you be respectful and considerate of me in return -- that goes for family, friends, FB acquaintances, and strangers. That includes impositions on my time, energy, and attention. Because, just like yours, it's precious. It's more precious than money, in fact. I put the value on my time and attention, and from here on, it's gonna be high.

Unless you put me on retainer 24/7, I'll respond when it's convenient for me (this applies to personal communication, not professional communication). Your emergency is not automatically my emergency, either. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Tired of putting myself in crisis mode over other people's crises.

Also, my immediate family comes first -- always. Everybody else stands in line. And on down the line...you get the drift. Believe me, I have more than enough to juggle here on the home front. Husband and children first, then comes my career. Everything else is a lower priority than those two things. It has to be that way.

For most of my life, I've allowed others to eat up my time, energy, and attention because I felt I needed to always please them or I needed to bow to their whims. No longer, so get used to it. I'm 50 and I have no idea how much time I'll be on this plane of existence. I no longer have time to say yes to everything or try and bend myself to the whims or wishes of others.

It's time for me now. It's time for my dreams, my goals, my ambitions. And, considering the time I've spent giving to others, sacrificing for others, and putting myself at risk to shield others from problems, I think I damn well deserve to draw some boundaries. If I were a man, I wouldn't have to ask or beg for this. I'd do it, and I'd do it without emotion.

As a woman, society has raised me to think that I need to ask, beg, or justify time for myself. Well, I won't do it. I'm taking it. People can either like and understand it or not. That's not my issue, it's theirs. Men typically don't have to explain such things, but women are selfish if they're not there for everybody all the time or waiting in the wings to nurture, support, or encourage everybody else on the fucking planet.

Yes, I do care about all of you. But friends and family, it's time for me. I'm going to train myself to stop chasing after people, to stop trying to please everybody every single minute of the day, and to stop doing things that others can (and should) do for themselves. I've said this before and gotten off track, so this is a reaffirmation of what I MUST do in order to maintain whatever sanity I have left. This is a reminder for both me and all of you.

There's more, but you can fill in the blanks. If not, Google is your friend. Speaking of which, I will no longer do research for anybody, either. If you're hooked up to the Internet, you can use the same method I do: type in Google, enter your inquiry into the search box, etc. My time is as precious as yours, after all. Or, find experts and ask them. There's a website for that as well.

If you have a book manuscript, I do not have time to read it. Are you kidding? With editing and reading for pleasure, when do I have time to read other manuscripts? Same with short stories. I cannot tell you if it's good enough to be published. That's up to an agent, editor, or publisher. So submit it and you'll find out. That's what I had to do (and still have to do). 

Also, don't ask to give me an idea so I can write a book and split the royalties with you. Really? Ideas are a dime a dozen, and I have more in my head than I could EVER put on paper. When you ask a writer that, you're asking THEM to do all the work so you can reap the benefits of the results. Not cool. The answer is no. Write it yourself or pay a ghostwriter (and they aren't cheap).

I'm not being harsh; I'm being upfront about things. If you want feedback, a critique of your work, and one-on-one attention, I have writing and editing courses for $20 to $25 per week. I'm a cheap date, too! And if you don't think I'm worth $20 a week, I don't have time to discuss this with you anymore. Because, you see, I am worth that -- and a lot more.

I'm tired of devaluing myself for others. After 18 years as a professional in the publishing industry, I sure as hell hope you think my time is worth that small amount. You'd spend a lot more on one dinner and I'll give you more value for that price. I support my family with my work, and the utility company doesn't take IOUs (I wish they did!) So please, don't put me in an uncomfortable position by asking me to things without payment or an equal barter in return.

In general, it's my belief that people do not truly care about events or situations unless they're directly affected. That's true for me at times as well, because I'm human. I have a ton of flaws myself, believe me.

Contrary to popular belief, I'm much more critical of myself that anybody else. I've gotten better over the years, but I still struggle with self-loathing in many ways. It's hard to love oneself, but it's become clear that if I don't learn that, I'm destined to destroy myself. I'm loving myself by redrawing boundaries and reasserting them to me, and to all of you.

Anyway, enough with that. Having spoken my piece, the matter is resolved. Now, let's see what trouble I can get into for the rest of the day *evil laugh*

Message from my Muse

Delivered from my muse today:

You slashed my soul with your jagged words.
My heart bled indifference.

Marking time, or living life?

Thoughts for the day:

No guts, no glory. But really, who cares about the glory? I don't. Having the guts and inner fortitude to do, say, act upon something reinforces that I've accomplished something. Taking a step, speaking a word, or following a path that many others were too fearful to tread upon is what matters most to me. Being authentic and genuine is the best gift I can give to others, as well as to myself.

We all have stories to tell about things that have happened in our past, things that have cemented who we are and why we say or do things the way we do. There is no competition with anyone else, because there is nobody else like you -- period.

Will you speak your mind, or remain silent?

Will you explore, or remain satisfied by what others tell you?

Will you ask challenging questions, or will you remain cozy in the downy comfort of stories (and lies) you have been told?

Will you grow a metaphorical spine, or will you remain spineless?

Will you put your thoughts out there (even if they shock or repel), or will you stay silent, muted, and loyal to the status quo?

The choices are up to you. You came into this world alone, and you will leave alone. What you do in between is, ultimately, in your hands.

It is a harsh truth, and one I'm still learning. But at some point you must leave the shadows and gaze at the bright, piercing sun -- even if it hurts your eyes, or your soul.

What will you do, or what will you not do?

Are you living life, or simply marking time?

I don't want to just mark time...I want to live life on my own terms.

Living as you're intended

The other night we watched clips of the popular '70s (and beyond) dance show, "Soul Train," with Don Cornelius. I miss those days when things seemed more innocent and simpler. Of course, I was a young child, so it wasn't truly the case. It's just that the world hadn't yet had a chance to fully get its claws in me and I hadn't seen the many horrors I've now been exposed to in my fifty years of life.

I miss the times when all I had to worry about was finishing a report for school or whether a cute boy I liked would like me back so we could "go" together. You know, life could be uncomplicated, but we humans utterly insist on making it such.

I think it's possible to live without pain, drama, and crisis in our lives. When we live with those things, we get sick...mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I don't want to be sick. I want to be well. I want to live as I was intended to live, with joy, hope, and creativity.

Do you?

[Vlog for 2.15.2015]: Oreo cookie taste-off -- Red Velvet vs. Birthday Cake.

Things other people like or understand, but I do not

There are many times when I just don't get the attraction of certain things the majority of people (or a large share of them) enjoy. Examples: "Seinfeld," "Friends," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," and various talent competition shows like "American Idol," "The X Factor," or "The Voice," etc. And if you ever catch me watching "Duck Dynasty" or "Honey Boo Boo," lop off my head. Yes, I know the latter is cancelled, and that's a good thing as far as I'm concerned.

Obviously, to each his or her own, but the one that surprises me the most is my "Meh" reaction to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel." I tried, but I can't get into them. By all indications, you'd think I would. But I don't. *shrug*

I'm also a bigger fan of "Torchwood" than I am "Dr. Who." Yes, I DO like "Dr. Who," but something about "Torchwood" resonates with me more. Perhaps it's John Barrowman's FINE ASS. And yes, I *know* he's gay. He makes me want to be a gay man. That man is HAWT.

Speaking of hot men, David Tennant is a hot little toddy as well. I loved him in the remake of "Fright Night." Initially I was opposed to remaking that movie, but I saw it and approved. As if Hollywood cared, right? ;-p

To be fair, I'm sure many people don't get my rabid interest in corvids, slinkies, collecting coffee cups, the paranormal, exorcism, sociopaths, smoking pipes, eye patches, vintage candy (like red wax lips or Mallo Cups), spontaneous human combustion, Dr. Demento, peeling dried glue off the palms of my hands, hentai*, pretty male Japanese rockers who sometimes dress like women, or any number of other odd things. Yes, I've a weird bent to my personality. However, after five decades on this planet, that won't change in the future. I'm likely to get stranger!

*Please, don't ask me what hentai is; if you're over 18, look it up.

This is yet another entry in Bev's "what you didn't care to know about, but she told you any damn way."

Serve your own plate.

Night before last, I had an intense dream. Nothing new, since most of my dreams are intense. The thing is, right before I woke up, I was given advice in my dream—not sure by whom—and it echoed in my mind upon waking and for hours afterward.

The advice, as told to me in my dream, was this: "Serve your own plate."

It is a metaphor for life, and for choosing what's best for you in your life. The meaning behind it is simple: when you go to put food on your plate (perhaps at a smörgåsbord or potluck, for instance), serve your own plate. You alone should choose what items you put on your plate. Do not give your plate to anybody else, and do not let anyone else determine the things you will have on your plate. Select items you most want and desire, because it is your plate (your life). Since you'll be eating those things (experiencing those things in life), you alone should determine which choices are best for you.

The advice in my dream was simple, but profound. I really had to sit with it and think about it for a while. It still resonates with me days later.

It's not uncommon for me to see names, words, phrases in my dreams—actually written out so I can read them. This has been happening with me for the past several years. It's a new development, as I have not had it for most of my life. However, in this dream, the advice was not written out, but spoken.

Again, I do not recall who gave me this advice, but I am grateful for it. I felt the need to share it with you all, because I believe it's something you, too, need to hear.

So, this is your plate. It's called life. Serve your own plate!

A creative offers up thanks

This week I’ve been humbled by many people who’ve encouraged and supported my creative endeavors, whether it be writing, editing, creative coaching or online course instruction. It’s amazing and humbling. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! Truly, my gratitude knows no bounds.

The creative journey is often a solitary and lonely journey. It’s not an easy one, and the world works against it in so many ways. Some people don’t see it as “real work,” but it most assuredly is. If it was easy, don’t you think everyone would be doing it? But they’re not.

Think of all the products, services and entertainment you wouldn’t have without the creative work of artists, writers, musicians and others who put blood, sweat and soul into contributing to those things and bringing them to life so you may enjoy and learn from them.

Creativity enhances life and exists for the betterment of us as human beings; it speaks to the very depths of our souls and makes our hearts sing. And creativity is not “pie in the sky,” flimsy-whimsy stuff that doesn’t apply to real life. All you see, hear, touch and experience began from a creative spark in some way — even if it’s a product that ultimately landed in the buttoned-down financial offices on Wall Street. Someone has to write those boring technical or procedural manuals for corporations everywhere, right? Business and creativity DO mix and creativity IS essential for innovation, change and improvement, regardless of the industry.

Creativity expresses itself in a myriad of ways, and in a variety of settings. Please encourage and support (in whatever way you can) the creative workers you may know in your own life — especially independent artisans (Etsy and beyond!) of all types. They will be grateful to you (boy, will they!), and you will be doing a fabulous thing for the world in general.

As a freelance writer and editor who has been earning a living from my words and ideas for 16 years (and most freelancers fail after a couple of years, according to most statistics), I humbly offer my appreciation to you.

There are plenty of negative and horrible things that happen in this world, but there are also many amazing and wonderful people and things that happen in this world. This past week has reminded us that Paul and I know many amazing people, and we are incredibly blessed because of it.

Thank you!